"I know you don't give a damn if I'm black and blue and red all over, Jonny." Well, that wasn't quite true. Jonathan did seem to appreciate the medical practise, plus he was definitely a sadist, so there might be some enjoyment at times. He had never noticed Jonathan caring beyond that, though. "I'm not complaining. I like that about you."
Edward sighed, reaching for the bag of frozen peas and holding it against his eyes again. He kind of liked the colour of the bag, all fresh and green, so there was that at least. "There's people out there, believe it or not, that do give a damn." Which could be annoying for various reasons and useful for various other reasons. But, most importantly. "I've science with Harvey Dent this semester. Couple weeks back, when I had that thing with my shoulder, you remember? My shirt slipped when I put my jacket on and he saw. And then he held my arm and he looked at me and he asked..." Edward dropped his voice a little to better imitate Harvey. "You all right, Ed? What happened?"
With his short performance as Harvey completed, Edward looked at Jonathan and raised the one eyebrow that wasn't hidden by a bag full of peas. "Y'see?!"
"Let's be real, that b-boy s-see the world very different from us. S-So, I think, you tell him you're clumsy and he gonna believe you." Edward was a nerd. A geek. Jocks probably based their knowledge of others from movies. He'd see Ed and assume that was fucking normal for a nerd like him. "And if he don't, who f-fucking cares?"
Since when did Ed care what Harvey Dent thought?
"I hate that guy." Jon admitted as he cleaned away all the cotton buds and swabs, pulling a plaster from his box and holding it out. "You wanna cover it or w-what?"
"Probably should, huh?" Edward reached up to push his hair back and moved closer again, so Jonathan could apply the plaster. He'd have done it himself, but then Jonathan would have given him a look about not doing it right. That was at least fifty percent of the reason why he usually went to Jonathan to patch himself up these days.
"Anyway, you're wrong about him. I don't blame you. But it doesn't matter whether he'll believe me or not, the point is that he'll have the look and the emotion in his voice and there will be a lingering touch and that is just something I do not wish to entertain." Edward shook his head, pulling a face. "Hormones. Something like that. Whatever it is Harvey does to me, it's... I don't know. Sticks like honey."
"People that l-look like that, they ain't got pr-problems."
Golden hair, nicely muscled, handsome and charming. Perfect speaking voice. As if that man could be anything out privileged. "You're just horny f-for normal."
"Wish that I was as simple as that. Plenty of jocks around and none of them have ever done it for me. It's not that." Sometimes, maybe. The gentle manner, the knight in shining armour, the sweet boy with the football jacket. There was a draw, of course there was, to that kind of All American ideal. Still. "He's never really had that much of an effect on me until I saw him get angry. How's that look for me, Jon? Keep the diagnosis to yourself."
Red flags, he was simply drawn to them. "He dissociates. And he thinks all he has are anger issues."
"Really?" Well, that had Jon's interests. His eyes practically lit up. "Tell me more."
He was curious how the perfect jock's mind left him sometimes, it seemed like something more likely to befall one of them, not the fucking quarterback. He hadn't really observed anything weird about Harvey but he also had really observed Harvey. Edward clearly had more data. "He gets angry? What sort of angry?"
"I'd say he's usually angry. He cares about justice, Jon. He genuinely cares. It's not an act. Imagine for just a moment actually caring about justice and attending Gotham High." Seemed stressful, that was how Edward would summarise it. "So, no, he wouldn't believe that I'm 'just clumsy'. And he'll want to find out who did it. Don Quichotte, but I'm all out of windmills to point him to."
Though perhaps he could conjure one up. There was a thought. "Anyway. Always some anger beneath the surface, wants to change the world, all that. Idealistic. And he really needs things to work out. Well. No, he needs to be the one that makes things work out. He needs to be infallible. Before the last football match, he had a panic attack." Now, even more so, he'd have Jon's attention. He knew that.
"Fear of failure combined with too much empathy. Fascinating. Did he cry?" Jon was just curious how deep the panic attack went. Just not being able to breathe and tension was also interesting but he assumed that went without saying. Whether or not he cried was more interesting, it showed the body was working to release good hormones. Or was he just keeping all that shit inside. "If he was crying, he was releasing. If he was just tense and angry, it's in him still."
That must be hard, not having relief. "It's rare for boys to have too much empathy." It was interesting though. "You seen him dis-disassociate?"
"What happened is that I could hear him hyperventilate, so I picked the lock of the nearest broom closet to get us some privacy." Edward said it and gave Jonathan a Look, as if that alone should have clued him in. When it didn't appear to, he realised. No Harvey knowledge, while he had too much of it. He liked studying people. "I picked the lock and Harvey said nothing about it. He watched me do it, he followed me inside, and he had no idea how we ended up there. And he-- I feel I undersold that justice thing. He's lily white. If he knew that I carried a lockpick with me, he would give me a lecture. He does not believe in crime."
So black and white in his thinking. "Complete dissociation."
"Uns-surprising. Black and white thinking is easy. S-S-Safe. You can control it." It was easier to see the world as good and bad so the decision was easy to make. So one could always stay on the path that was desired. Harvey seemed to live in binary. 0 or 1. Yes or no. Good or bad. Interesting. "If you have such a narrow path, it can be easy to stray. To panic. He's a control freak."
Less interesting but the disassociation was quite fun. "Did it happen this once or does it happen often? Did he talk about anything else that ha-happened?"
"It's happened to him before. All he thinks is that it's about his anger. Then I pointed out to him what I know from your damn books, how fear and anger are close together. You know the spiel. Fear moves us away for the source, anger towards it. And then he told me he doesn't want to talk feelings." Shocking. He was such a boy, Harvey, really. Definitely not willing to admit he had a thing to be scared of and that he had any issue whatsoever - other than anger.
"He got angry though. While he was panicking. I've never experienced that. He got angry. Slammed the wall and almost triggered something in me. Before I got us into that closet. His panic attacks seem to be angry and violent. What do you make of that, professor?"
"A class panic attack has no anger. There is anger afterwards and there's such a thing as anger attacks but they are different. Anger with panic and disassociation... I would think epilepsy or Tourette syndrome, honestly." Though that didn't seem 100% correct, his mind went in that direction. Uncontrollable rage attacks tended to be linked with these sort of areas. "The other alternative, the more unpleasant one, would be schizophrenia. People with psychotic attacks can get strong, angry, paranoid."
Jon got up and went over to his books, looking for the one he wanted. "If it is, it tends to be onset around 18. Though I'm not sure if he has all the symptoms for schizophrenia. I need more data, of course."
"You think that about a lot of people. I started working on statistics for it. You're wrong so far 48/7% of the time. So you're close so 50/50, son." Didn't scream successful but he supposed he was over a significance threshold. Not enough to be scientifically sound, however. Jonathan found the book he wanted and came back over to sit, opening it at the back to look at the index.
"Disassociation is very rare. Most think it's not real. You only really see it with trauma. Generally abuse or war related trauma. There's a small number of disorders that cover disassociation." He flipped to the page they needed and opened it up. "Four potentials. Disassociation-amnesia, unspecified disassociation, depersonalisation-derealisation and DID. Dissociative identity disorder."
"I don't know what you'd call it, but I know he was watching me do something he'd never tolerate and he still doesn't remember seeing it." So, whatever it was, clearly Harvey had no awareness. "Anyway, I think your statistics are skewed. You've no idea how repressed idiots express their hidden gay desires. All you know is what repressed reasonably intelligent boys do."
Edward stuck his tongue out to him, then finally lowered the bag of peas from his eye again. "How is it looking?" Fingers crossed. Although it felt swollen when he gently touched it and it was painful to keep it open, so he assumed it was bruising nicely. Damn.
"Not sw-swollen." Jon nodded in approval as he looed back at his book, his mind clearly somewhere else. Ed was in for a super fun evening of Jonathan researching now but honestly, he felt Edward brought that on himself by asking. "I think it adds character. Makes you look good. You suit greyish blue."
Jon was smirking to himself. It was fun to tease Ed, to flirt a little. He was never bored with Eddie.
"You, my dear friend, are a sadistic creep. For the record." Edward put the damn bag back over his eye, then simply stretched out on the ground and watched Jonathan through his uninjured eye. "Keep your hands off Harvey, by the way. My toy, my game, I've called dibs."
With that he closed the other eyes as well, deciding that a nap was probably preferable to actively listening to Jonathan on a research spree.
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icebergloungers2021-10-21 08:54 pm
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Edward sighed, reaching for the bag of frozen peas and holding it against his eyes again. He kind of liked the colour of the bag, all fresh and green, so there was that at least. "There's people out there, believe it or not, that do give a damn." Which could be annoying for various reasons and useful for various other reasons. But, most importantly. "I've science with Harvey Dent this semester. Couple weeks back, when I had that thing with my shoulder, you remember? My shirt slipped when I put my jacket on and he saw. And then he held my arm and he looked at me and he asked..." Edward dropped his voice a little to better imitate Harvey. "You all right, Ed? What happened?"
With his short performance as Harvey completed, Edward looked at Jonathan and raised the one eyebrow that wasn't hidden by a bag full of peas. "Y'see?!"
no subject
Since when did Ed care what Harvey Dent thought?
"I hate that guy." Jon admitted as he cleaned away all the cotton buds and swabs, pulling a plaster from his box and holding it out. "You wanna cover it or w-what?"
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"Anyway, you're wrong about him. I don't blame you. But it doesn't matter whether he'll believe me or not, the point is that he'll have the look and the emotion in his voice and there will be a lingering touch and that is just something I do not wish to entertain." Edward shook his head, pulling a face. "Hormones. Something like that. Whatever it is Harvey does to me, it's... I don't know. Sticks like honey."
no subject
"People that l-look like that, they ain't got pr-problems."
Golden hair, nicely muscled, handsome and charming. Perfect speaking voice. As if that man could be anything out privileged. "You're just horny f-for normal."
no subject
Red flags, he was simply drawn to them. "He dissociates. And he thinks all he has are anger issues."
no subject
He was curious how the perfect jock's mind left him sometimes, it seemed like something more likely to befall one of them, not the fucking quarterback. He hadn't really observed anything weird about Harvey but he also had really observed Harvey. Edward clearly had more data. "He gets angry? What sort of angry?"
no subject
Though perhaps he could conjure one up. There was a thought. "Anyway. Always some anger beneath the surface, wants to change the world, all that. Idealistic. And he really needs things to work out. Well. No, he needs to be the one that makes things work out. He needs to be infallible. Before the last football match, he had a panic attack." Now, even more so, he'd have Jon's attention. He knew that.
no subject
That must be hard, not having relief. "It's rare for boys to have too much empathy." It was interesting though. "You seen him dis-disassociate?"
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So black and white in his thinking. "Complete dissociation."
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Less interesting but the disassociation was quite fun. "Did it happen this once or does it happen often? Did he talk about anything else that ha-happened?"
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"He got angry though. While he was panicking. I've never experienced that. He got angry. Slammed the wall and almost triggered something in me. Before I got us into that closet. His panic attacks seem to be angry and violent. What do you make of that, professor?"
no subject
Jon got up and went over to his books, looking for the one he wanted. "If it is, it tends to be onset around 18. Though I'm not sure if he has all the symptoms for schizophrenia. I need more data, of course."
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But then, he thought that about a lot of people.
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"Disassociation is very rare. Most think it's not real. You only really see it with trauma. Generally abuse or war related trauma. There's a small number of disorders that cover disassociation." He flipped to the page they needed and opened it up. "Four potentials. Disassociation-amnesia, unspecified disassociation, depersonalisation-derealisation and DID. Dissociative identity disorder."
Jon sighed wistfully. "If only."
no subject
Edward stuck his tongue out to him, then finally lowered the bag of peas from his eye again. "How is it looking?" Fingers crossed. Although it felt swollen when he gently touched it and it was painful to keep it open, so he assumed it was bruising nicely. Damn.
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Jon was smirking to himself. It was fun to tease Ed, to flirt a little. He was never bored with Eddie.
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With that he closed the other eyes as well, deciding that a nap was probably preferable to actively listening to Jonathan on a research spree.