"Really? That's quite the honour. I don't know if I'm her type, but if I ever run into her, I'll try my best." Honestly, not as if she'd be a bad match. He'd never hooked up with a queen before. Or with a cartoon character for that matter, but... Details. "I like boys and girls, you know? Some people do. My sister, she likes girls. She wants to marry a girl some day."
Seemed as if there were higher odds of that happening than him getting married to anyone of any gender.
"Cause girls are less smelly than boys? That's smart. Boys are dumb. Not you, you're not a dumb boy but, like, most boys are really dumb." She only knew the boys from the neighbourhood, she didn't go out much but even so, she knew they sucked. They sucked a lot. They called her names and they hurt each other for laughs. It was so stupid. "She seems smart, I get why she doesn't like boys... why do you like boys?"
That was the weirdest part to her. Who liked boys?
"Hm. I don't know, good question. Some boys, sometimes, they make me feel good inside. Some girls do too. I guess when it comes to who I want to be with, I just don't really care about boy or girl." There, that was quite the heavy discussion out of the way. Eh, whatever. Now she was all set for Pride. "Most of my friends are girls though. They will all love you."
He paused, wetting his lips before pressing them together. Then he just said it. "Stephanie, do you know that I'm the Riddler? You've heard of the Riddler?"
"The Riddler?" She frowned and turned to Edward, trying to see what he was saying to her but he wasn't at all like her dad had described to her. She knew the name and it did scare her, she felt her stomach will with butterflies, but Edward wasn't like that so he couldn't be him, could he? "But you're nice to me..."
So what was going on? "The Riddler is supposed to be mean and rude... he would kill me! My dad said so. He said the Riddler is real bad. You wouldn't kill me, would you?"
"Well, Stephanie, you will come to learn a lesson that I've learned a long, long time ago. Your father, the man you thought was your father, he's an idiot and wrong about pretty much everything. Anyway, I have issues with him, not with you. Never with you." Edward turned his head to smile at her, since they were at a red light now anyway. "I can be rude and I can be mean, but I won't kill you or hurt you. That's better than what that idiot ever promised you, right? All you have to know about the Riddler is that he is brilliant."
"You better be. I don't want to get hurt. I know I can't do a lot about it but one day, I'll be big and strong, then I'll kick your ass. So promise you won't make me do that. You're my dad now..." And she just wanted to do dad things with him, the sort of things that kids on TV got to do like hold hands and go fun places and do crafts! She wanted a normal dad. Well, not normal boring but normal nice.
"I can trust you cause you haven't lie, right? Cause you don't like." He seemed honest to her.
"I don't lie, no. And I promise, Stephanie. Remember. Something I have to keep not to break it." He smiled at her for a few moments, then turned his attention back to the road, as the light turned green. Not long after, he turned the car around a corner, down into the parking garage of his building. "We can talk about fun things now. Like... What are your favourite foods? I'll make you something nice tonight."
With that, he parked the car - next to another one of his, this one green, a classic - and reached out to undo her seatbelt. "We should start you off with a bath, I think, then I can sort out your hair properly this time."
"I like spaghetti with hotdogs cut up in it. My mom makes that a lot." It was cheap, quick and she loved it. She had simple tastes, she wanted to eat like three things and that was all. "I also like pizza annnnd fries. Maybe sometimes chicken nuggets but not always." She shrugged a little, not sure if that was enough or if he wanted to discuss more food with him. "What do you like this best?"
As Edward helped her out of her seat, she slid out and took Edward's hand readily. "Is my hair bad?" She wasn't sure but properly was one of those words that meant something had been wrong before. She frowned a little. "I try to brush it but it hurts."
"Your hair is beautiful, sweetheart, but it needs proper care. Like mine does too, but yours even more, because yours is so long and pretty." Edward gave her hand a slight squeeze as he headed for the elevator, then he pressed the button and waited for the door to open. "I will give you a good shampoo to use on it and then we can apply some conditioner that will make sure it won't hurt to brush it and it will be silky and shiny."
He knew a lot about haircare, after all. As the doors opened, he walked inside, then showed her what button he had to press. "See? Top floor. All the way up. And I think we'll have pasta today. I like pasta too. I'll make fresh pasta for us, that's way better."
As long as Edward didn't think her hair was bad, she could live with him fixing it. She wasn't too fussed on her hair, she just liked to have it free and unhurty.
"Do you have more robots?" She cared more about that than the food and the haircare, honestly. She watched each floor light up with wide eyes, bouncing along to the elevator music until it finally dinged. When it did, the doors opened and she immediately reached out to hold onto Edward, not sure if it was safe to go further without him.
"Yes, I do. AI, that is. I do have some bots too, but most of them aren't operational at the moment." That said he led her over to his door, unlocked it and stepped inside, still holding her hand. "Lights on."
The lights came on and he bent down to take off his shoes and help her with hers, if need be. Right now they were in the hall, but given most of the penthouse was fairly open plan, that still meant that the living room - with its view of the Gotham City skyline - and part of the kitchen were visible. The bedrooms were upstairs and his office had a door, which was closed, as was the door to the downstairs bathroom. He didn't need to be that open. "Do you like watching television, Stephanie?"
He had taken a step into the living room and hit a switch, making the screen of his television set rise out of the floor. Honestly, he just thought that effect looked cool.
It scared her a little when the TV rose up and she ducked behind Edward, watching everything happen around her and feeling very overwhelmed by it. It wasn't bad, it was just different and she was starting to feel very out of place. She had never been aware of herself being dirty or poor before but now she felt it as she looked around Edward's nice, clean apartment with all the cool tech and gadgets.
She looked over at the big view, it was the whole of Gotham and maybe the entire world! She didn't know but it was a lot. She pressed her face against Edward's leg. "You're really rich, Eddie."
"I'm your dad, right?" Edward pulled her up suddenly, following an instinct. He held her as he approached the window, looking outside. "That must mean you are rich too."
That said he produced a coin from behind her ear. "What has a tail and a head but no body?" He pressed the coin into her hand and looked at her. "You know, Stephanie, when I was your age, I lived somewhere as bad as where I just got you from. And I looked a lot worse than you. It's Gotham City, so we make our own luck. And I'll help you along with yours."
"You promise? You gotta promise." She pouted a little as she looked over the coin and then slipped it into her jacket pocket, readily wrapping her arms around Edward as they looked out of the window. She missed her home, of course she did, but it was a strange feeling. She had no desire to go home, it was just a lot of change in one day and it took some processing. She had a new dad. A better dad. "Thanks for finding me."
She reached out her hand and touched the glass of the window, looking out at the city curiously. "See, I'm not scared. I'm really brave."
"You are super brave," Edward agreed, as he watched her looking out the window, rather than looking out herself. A lot braver than he had been at her age, he'd reckon, remembering his false bravado in face of his father and the many times he'd just ended up curled up somewhere regretting it. She seemed stronger than him. Good. "Want to see the bathroom? I already bought you pyjamas."
Well, he had not been able to resist those adorable green pyjamas. They were too cute.
"Yep. I have to wash my hair so you can brush it." She hadn't showered in a few days because her mother hadn't helped her and the shower head was too high up. She was pretty dirty by now and pretty banged up so the idea of hot water was very appealing. "Do you think if you brushed it and took care of it a lot, like so much, it would be like Rapunzel and it'd grow forever and ever?"
She was just curious. It seemed like a fun idea, having really long hair. She could hit people with it.
Edward set her down first, then took her hand as he led the way to the bathroom. He switched the lights on and set the tab to the right temperature before starting to fill the bath, looking at his various bath products critically. An important choice to make for what was likely to be her first bath.
"It's actually scientifically impossible, all hair has a certain limit, it can't grow forever. But you could grow very long hair, if you wanted. Might be a bit of a pain to take care of, though. You can see how you feel about it. I've never had long hair, so I'm no expert. Have you ever heard of Delite? He works with the Joker. He has really long hair sometimes. Maybe you can ask him about it some time."
"The Joker kills a lot of people." That's was all she really knew about him. "We don't go out when he's having a party or we'll die." Like that parade he had near the Narrows last year, the air was all pretty purple but if they went out, they'd die. That's what her dad told her. Her old not-dad. She looked around the bathroom and then walked over to the tub, peering into it. It was so big, how would she climb out!
"Why do you have so many thingies? We only have two." She was pointing at the bottles he was debating between, curious why he seemed to have ten times the amount she did.
"Because I like variety. This way, I can always pick what I most feel like, you know?" Edward shrugged his shoulders and then opened up one bottle - it was green - so she could smell it. "Do you like how that smells? It will turn the water green." He liked green.
He decided that the conversation about rogues killing people could wait until later. "Pour some in, all right? And here are the pyjamas you can put on when you're all washed, this is the towel you can use."
He showed her where everything was, then smiled. "I'll be right outside if you need anything, but for now just enjoy the bath. Do you want to watch television during?"
He pressed a button next to the mirror and it changed to a screen. "You can tell it what you want to see. Enable voice command. New voice input."
He mouthed 'say something' to Stephanie, hoping she'd catch on.
It could indeed. Soon, the TV was playing and Stephanie was in the bath, letting Edward leave so she could wash up. It was fun and it smelled so nice, she splashed around in the water and washed as best she could - admittedly half-hearted when it came to washing her hair. She hadn't ever done it alone before, not like this, so it was a bit tricky but in the end, she managed it.
She finished watching what she was watching before asking the nice robot to turn off the show. "Eddie! I'm done!" She climbed out of the bath and wrapped herself in the towel Edward had put out, not sure what to do now. She was probably supposed to put her jammies on but it was all a lot and she was a bit lost. "Are these mine?" They were so pretty!
"Yes, these are yours," Edward told her after having walked into the room, wearing his 'Kiss the Chef' apron, a gracious gift from Echo and Query. He looked at the pyjamas, then at her, trying not to seem lost or sheepish himself. "Do you need help getting dressed?"
This father thing was just full of hidden complications. He wasn't sure whether she was old enough for that yet. He really, really needed to brush up on some parenting knowledge, tonight could be devoted to some research.
"I can do it. I just wasn't sure... my pyjamas have bunnies on them. They didn't have bunnies. I get it now." She had green ones instead. She dropped the towel and started to pull them on, a little awkward with her motor skills but she managed to get dressed, hurrying over to Edward with her hair dripping behind her, dried as best as she could manage. "Eddie, where did you go? Were you doing something fun?"
Hopefully he wasn't having too much fun without her! She also wanted to play.
"I got the pasta dough ready, it's in the fridge now. You can help choose what pasta shape we'll have, all right?" Edward took her hand, since she seemed to like holding his hand. He definitely had to take care of her hair too, but he could do that once she'd calmed down a little again. Apparently this had all been a lot of excitement, he supposed he understood that. He led her to the kitchen and helped her up onto one of the stools around the kitchen island, showing her the various pasta shapers and explaining what shape they'd end up making. "These are for macaroni, this would be spaghetti... That's linguini, a bit like flat spaghetti, I suppose. I have more, but I was too lazy to get them all out."
He was still getting sorted a little himself too. "Which one should we have?"
"Spaghetti!" She wanted what she knew, for the most part, and she knew spaghetti well. She sat on her stool and watched Edward work, getting all the food ready and doing what a mom did. She knew that dads could do it too, even if her dad never did, it was just really funny to see it happen. "My dad never cooked. You're way better, Eddie. You can cook and you make baths and robots."
She paused and then tilted her head to the side, frowning. "If he's not my dad and you are my dad, should I call you dad? And if I do then what do I call my old dad?"
"Whatever you want. I usually call him idiot. Or moron. Or imbecile. Or wannabe." Edward wasn't sure how helpful that was to her, but hey. He was offering variety. he finished fixing the attachment to the pasta machine, then he picked her up and carried her over to the sofa in the living room, letting himself fall down on it with her. "Time to fix up your hair, princess."
He looked at her with a smile, bopping her nose. He was looking forward to properly caring for her hair. "You can call me dad. If you want to. Eddie is all right too. It's all new, isn't it? Take your time."
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icebergloungers2021-02-11 02:52 pm
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Seemed as if there were higher odds of that happening than him getting married to anyone of any gender.
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That was the weirdest part to her. Who liked boys?
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He paused, wetting his lips before pressing them together. Then he just said it. "Stephanie, do you know that I'm the Riddler? You've heard of the Riddler?"
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So what was going on? "The Riddler is supposed to be mean and rude... he would kill me! My dad said so. He said the Riddler is real bad. You wouldn't kill me, would you?"
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He grinned. "So, believe me. I'm him."
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"I can trust you cause you haven't lie, right? Cause you don't like." He seemed honest to her.
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With that, he parked the car - next to another one of his, this one green, a classic - and reached out to undo her seatbelt. "We should start you off with a bath, I think, then I can sort out your hair properly this time."
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As Edward helped her out of her seat, she slid out and took Edward's hand readily. "Is my hair bad?" She wasn't sure but properly was one of those words that meant something had been wrong before. She frowned a little. "I try to brush it but it hurts."
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He knew a lot about haircare, after all. As the doors opened, he walked inside, then showed her what button he had to press. "See? Top floor. All the way up. And I think we'll have pasta today. I like pasta too. I'll make fresh pasta for us, that's way better."
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"Do you have more robots?" She cared more about that than the food and the haircare, honestly. She watched each floor light up with wide eyes, bouncing along to the elevator music until it finally dinged. When it did, the doors opened and she immediately reached out to hold onto Edward, not sure if it was safe to go further without him.
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The lights came on and he bent down to take off his shoes and help her with hers, if need be. Right now they were in the hall, but given most of the penthouse was fairly open plan, that still meant that the living room - with its view of the Gotham City skyline - and part of the kitchen were visible. The bedrooms were upstairs and his office had a door, which was closed, as was the door to the downstairs bathroom. He didn't need to be that open. "Do you like watching television, Stephanie?"
He had taken a step into the living room and hit a switch, making the screen of his television set rise out of the floor. Honestly, he just thought that effect looked cool.
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She looked over at the big view, it was the whole of Gotham and maybe the entire world! She didn't know but it was a lot. She pressed her face against Edward's leg. "You're really rich, Eddie."
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That said he produced a coin from behind her ear. "What has a tail and a head but no body?" He pressed the coin into her hand and looked at her. "You know, Stephanie, when I was your age, I lived somewhere as bad as where I just got you from. And I looked a lot worse than you. It's Gotham City, so we make our own luck. And I'll help you along with yours."
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She reached out her hand and touched the glass of the window, looking out at the city curiously. "See, I'm not scared. I'm really brave."
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Well, he had not been able to resist those adorable green pyjamas. They were too cute.
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She was just curious. It seemed like a fun idea, having really long hair. She could hit people with it.
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"It's actually scientifically impossible, all hair has a certain limit, it can't grow forever. But you could grow very long hair, if you wanted. Might be a bit of a pain to take care of, though. You can see how you feel about it. I've never had long hair, so I'm no expert. Have you ever heard of Delite? He works with the Joker. He has really long hair sometimes. Maybe you can ask him about it some time."
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"Why do you have so many thingies? We only have two." She was pointing at the bottles he was debating between, curious why he seemed to have ten times the amount she did.
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He decided that the conversation about rogues killing people could wait until later. "Pour some in, all right? And here are the pyjamas you can put on when you're all washed, this is the towel you can use."
He showed her where everything was, then smiled. "I'll be right outside if you need anything, but for now just enjoy the bath. Do you want to watch television during?"
He pressed a button next to the mirror and it changed to a screen. "You can tell it what you want to see. Enable voice command. New voice input."
He mouthed 'say something' to Stephanie, hoping she'd catch on.
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It could indeed. Soon, the TV was playing and Stephanie was in the bath, letting Edward leave so she could wash up. It was fun and it smelled so nice, she splashed around in the water and washed as best she could - admittedly half-hearted when it came to washing her hair. She hadn't ever done it alone before, not like this, so it was a bit tricky but in the end, she managed it.
She finished watching what she was watching before asking the nice robot to turn off the show. "Eddie! I'm done!" She climbed out of the bath and wrapped herself in the towel Edward had put out, not sure what to do now. She was probably supposed to put her jammies on but it was all a lot and she was a bit lost. "Are these mine?" They were so pretty!
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This father thing was just full of hidden complications. He wasn't sure whether she was old enough for that yet. He really, really needed to brush up on some parenting knowledge, tonight could be devoted to some research.
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Hopefully he wasn't having too much fun without her! She also wanted to play.
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He was still getting sorted a little himself too. "Which one should we have?"
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She paused and then tilted her head to the side, frowning. "If he's not my dad and you are my dad, should I call you dad? And if I do then what do I call my old dad?"
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He looked at her with a smile, bopping her nose. He was looking forward to properly caring for her hair. "You can call me dad. If you want to. Eddie is all right too. It's all new, isn't it? Take your time."
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