icebergloungers | won't you take me by the hand

"The hell do I have your attention. You aren't even looking at me. How are you ever going to fall for my many charms like that, huh?" Edward smirked, but he took a swig of the bottle and then swallowed, leaning his head back. Huh. "That is a lot better than the usual stuff. Actually tastes of something other than burning."

He had no idea how Jonathan drank so much of that cheap crap. But then, he did primarily associate that with his father. This was different. "Now I know two good things come from Georgia."

"I don't like to look at people much, it's a bit strange. You have to look at people the right way, one wrong slip and they know you're wrong or off. It's not something I learned to do." Jonathan didn't really look at people, wasn't his thing. He slowly turned his head and looked at Edward, raising an eyebrow. "Are you really so attention starved that you need me to stare at you?"

Probably, yes. That was very Edward. "Tell me something that will hold my attention and then maybe you'll get it."

"Sure. Stare. Gaze. Gape. Goggle. Gawk. Very G-heavy word family, that. You could also ogle or leer, but I assume you'll stick with the Gs and glare." Seemed about right. Edward met Jonathan's eyes anyway, laughing a little sheepishly. One could enjoy being put on the stop and still feeling temporarily flustered, especially since he wanted to live up to the challenge there. He wanted Jonathan to not be able to say that he wasn't saying something worthy of attention.

So he smiled, finally. "I've been thinking, I really want to suck a cock some time. You know?"

"... Christ almighty, Edward. What the fuck?" Well, he didn't see that one coming, he had to admit it. Why the hell was Edward saying that to him? Fuck. That was all kinds of no, not a thought he wanted to have. He tried to bury that image fast cause... dear God. His eyes were wide as he looked at Edward. "You can't just say that to a man without warning, Ed. You're damn lucky I wasn't drinking or I'd have beat you sideways."

Rolling his eyes, he looked away, the tips of his ears burning. "Why the hell you wanna do that?"

Of course, that just widened his smile and even drew out a chuckle, if not a giggle, because that reaction was potentially even better than he could have hoped for. It was easy to shock Jonathan sometimes, so maybe he had gone for an easy one there, but whatever. It was too entertaining to not feel proud of himself over it.

He shrugged and reached for that bottle of bourbon, sliding his fingers along the bottleneck in a more sensual fashion than strictly necessary - easy task, given that wasn't necessarily something sensual at all. "I feel it'd be interesting. I'd like to study the reactions. From the research I've done, it should be comparatively easy to really make a man come undone. I like the juxtaposition of that too. I mean, that image of someone on their knees, and being someone who's been insulted as a cocksucker since before I even fully understood what that meant, but instead of it being a position of submission, it is actually the power position."

He had thought about it a lot. "Besides, I think I'd have fun with it." That said he lifted the bottle to his lips and took another sip. Maybe deliberately slowly.

"I think you think too much about fucking everything." Jonathan muttered as he tried to get the image out of his head of Edward on his knees, all cocky and proud of himself, in a power position despite everything else about the situation screaming otherwise. It was very Edward. This Edward. Ever since summer, Edward had changed. For the better, in most ways, though he did hate how newly social he was. He found himself missing Edward dearly but... it was odd, how he felt. How Edward made him feel. Mostly annoyed.

Mostly over that nonsense with him and Echo. "Thought the only one you wanted to service was your lady friend."

So why suddenly all the talk about dick? Seemed very out of left field.

"Huh. I don't think she cares what I do. Maybe she'd want to watch. Depends on the person." Edward shrugged, looking at Jonathan with a smile and offering the bottle back out to him. "Jonny, I get it. I didn't think sex would be that interesting. I still don't think it is all that, but the effects it has? The way you can use it to manipulate people? It's fascinating. It's a brand new game. And, yes, of course, getting off is fine and all. But turning someone on? I think that's even more fun."

He laughed, raising his eyebrows at him. "I should try it on you. See if you're immune."

Edward was teasing and he knew he was but there was an uneasy part of him that felt like it could happen. That it had potential. And if it happened, then what? What did he do to pull away from Edward? How did he ever escape him? He knew there was something more to it, lingering in his head, but he just didn't want to confront it. Maybe it was his childhood in Georgia, maybe it was just him but it felt wrong. Dirty and wrong and his skin shivered at the idea of being touched.

"Dunno if that's a game to play, Ed. I assume I'm immune." He looked at Edward and shrugged, entirely unsure himself. "Never cared for that sort of thing, didn't ever go in for it."

"Neither did I. I assumed I was asexual, actually, then I had an interesting awakening." Quite fascinating. Also a little bit like being drained entirely, but in a good way. He didn't think most men came that often this early. Still, he hadn't minded. He liked to get good at everything he did. "It'd be an interesting experiment, don't you think? See if you are immune to it. Maybe you are just harder to win over. Then it'd be a challenge."

And he did love to conquer a challenge. Clumsily, or so it might seem, he almost dropped the bottle when he reached for it again, some of the liquid splattering Jonathan. "Oops! Sorry about that." He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked his friend over. "Guess I got you."

He ran a finger down Jonathan's neck, feeling strangely giddy. Maybe the alcohol was getting to him a little, he had definitely had more than usual. "Want me to clean that up for you?" His eyes followed a drop of bourbon that was making its way down Jonathan's throat, to vanish beneath his collar. Huh. Plaid could be sexy, who'd have thought?

Ah. Edward was playing games. Jonathan understood it all now, Edward just wanted to play. He didn't know why but he assumed it was interesting for Edward to try new things and challenge himself - Jonathan was another challenge to unlock. Not something to aspire to want or chase, just a game. Expected but hurtful. He didn't know how to respond at first, feeling Edward's fingers play around his neck, ignoring the way the bourbon slipped beneath his shirt.

Reaching out, Jonathan took control of the situation and cupped one side of Edward's face, making sure he was focusing on him and only him. His fingers slid back so he could grab Edward's hair, pulling him close and kissing him. Guiding him. Taking what he wanted. It was a strange moment, not how he imagined their first kiss but he assumed now was the only time to take this chance and experiment himself.

He wasn't going to let Edward play with him, he'd be the one doing the playing. This game meant more to him, it seemed only fair that he called the shots. He pressed their foreheads together and smirked at Edward, a front of arrogance that always worked for him. "You taste like you had one too many there, Ed. You best watch your drink, yeah? Don't wanna be making any mistakes."

That was not what he expected. There was this boy, his best friend, who often barely seemed willing to listen to him, definitely shied away from too much physical contact more often than not and while that has been part of why he had gone along with this idea that had entered his mind - seducing Jonathan for fun - he hadn't really thought of what might happen. If he had, he'd not have guessed that.

He liked the kiss. Jonathan was a sweet kisser and they both tasted of bourbon. It seemed fitting. He laughed, a little giddy, pretty much giggling when he pressed closer to him. "No mistakes here. I think I've had just the right amount to drink. Look at you, taking the lead. You'll make me swoon."

Catching his eyes, he ran his fingers through Jonathan's hair. "Gorgeous."

"Ah, don't talk shit, Ed. You wanna fool around with a guy, that's one thing but you don't gotta sweet talk me like those morons at school. I ain't fucking gorgeous. I know you learned a lot but these tricks don't work on me." He wanted to tell Edward that he had always been charmed by him, in his own way, but he felt it was far too sappy to put into words. He pulled back and returned to where he was sitting, picking up the bottle and taking a long sip, trying to decide what move to make next.

"I don't like being an experiment. To anyone. Ever. I'm not something to test with."

Not any more. He didn't want to be a guinea pig - not for his father, not for Edward. "You wanna play this game, it'd get real. You wanna get real with me, Edward?" He turned and met his eyes, not challenging or shaming Edward, not afraid either. Just serious about what he was saying.

That was a lot to take in, so Edward decided that he should cover this one by one. He frowned, then adjusted himself, sitting down across from Jonathan, his legs crossed. "First of all, Jonathan, I do think your eyes are gorgeous. I have a thing for blue eyes, that's hardly so hard to believe. It's an interesting mutation, you'll have to admit. Mine are boring by comparison." Which did bother him at times. It wasn't a big deal, but he'd never cared for being ordinary.

But that was mostly beside the point now. He just didn't want to be accused of lying about what he thought of Jonathan's appearance. However, the rest of this seemed even more important. "What would that entail? Getting real with you."

"Dunno. Didn't think it through, this was unexpected. I just know I feel that way." And Edward had a girlfriend and a life, he would likely keep being more and more popular - Jonathan just wanted to make sure he didn't end up in the category of everyone else. Every other disposal person. He wanted to be special. Not an experiment, not a joke, he wanted to be something. "I'm your best friend, am I not? So I should have a higher value than any old boy you'd try to suck off."

It only made sense. He looked away from Edward, losing his nerve to keep eye contact as he knocked back more bourbon. "Shit, Ed. I don't know. You threw me, I don't have terms worked out. I ain't you, I don't think this stuff out."

"Of course you are my best friend." That seemed important to state. "You have higher value to me than anyone. I merely didn't expect you to--"

He cut himself off as he tried to think of how to word this. He didn't want to hurt Jonathan's feelings or insult him in any way. "I thought you'd just tell me to fuck off." In all honesty. "In my defence, that's how a good percentage of our interactions go. But I guess Echo was right."

Jonathan really did have some degree of interest in him. Did that also mean she was right about the jealousy? Huh. "The smart thing would be to work terms out together. So. Ideally, what do you want from me? For real."

"Echo?" Oh for fuck sake. Great, his girl knew. She'd tell fucking everyone in school, as if they didn't already bully the shit out of him for being gay. Not that he even knew if he was one or not. He realised he should have just told Edward to fuck off but it was hard to. When he played the way he did, when Jon was as drunk as he was, it just wasn't easy. But now it was. He didn't want to discuss it, he felt his guard come up out of fear of whatever would escalate next.

"Fuck off, Edward. I don't want to work out terms."

He pulled out a cigarette and lit it up, putting it in his mouth to actively deter Edward from getting close again. "Your little girlfriend don't know anything about me. Quit discussing me, it's fucking weird."

"I'm not saying she knows anything about you, she just felt as if you hated her even more than everyone else so she was theorising. I told her she's wrong." Edward sighed, realising that he'd messed this up. Of course, Jonathan would withdraw like that. He shouldn't have mentioned Echo, he hadn't even meant to, but he was so thrown by the entire situation that it had simply gotten away from him. "This has nothing to do with her. We have nothing to do with anyone else. It's just you and me, Jon. Fuck the world. I want to know where your head is at. Where--"

He gestured vaguely. "Where everything is at."

"I don't know." That was all he could answer with. He took a long inhale and then blew smoke into the air above him, looking up at the grey sky and pulling a face. Looked like the rain would start soon, he was going to get fucking soaked too. Just his luck for leaving his coat at home. "Things are good, yeah? Leave them be, Ed. If things are good then things are good. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. We ain't broke, are we?"

Jon smirked to himself and then laughed, pulling the cigarette from his mouth. "And I don't mean cash wise, that's just obvious. We're broke in that sense, I guess."

Leaving things be was not something Edward had ever been very good at. In fact, it was often a point of critique his father had for him. This was especially vexing in this situation, because Jonathan was his best friend. The one who mattered most. Realising that there were things about their relationship that he didn't entirely understand...

No, of course he couldn't leave that be. "Do you get jealous, Jonathan?" He just asked him right up. Maybe he could draw conclusions from his reaction. "Do you want me to be yours?"

"Do you ever think that you're an irritating smartass who can't let anything go. Seriously, you're like a fucking dog. I remember my grandpa had a hunting dog and it'd sink it's feet into vermin and keep the bodies in his jaw all the live long day, like it had to show it off to everyone. Wouldn't drop it. Think you two had a lot in common." Jonathan pointed out as he purposefully blew smoke at Edward, just to be an ass. Well, he was being challenged on things he was afraid to answer, what else did he do? Be honest? Christ, if he did that, he was beyond fucked.

He didn't even know if Edward even thought the way he did. He did have a girl, after all. "I want you to let it go."

Edward turned his head to the side and put his hands up to wave the smoke away, for all the good that didn't do. He coughed, then coughed some more, some of it for exaggerated effect. "Fuck you, with that."

That'd show him. He finally glared at Jonathan again, feeling quite justified in his anger. "Do you ever think that you are an unreasonable ass?" Because he most definitely was. But also, now that Jonathan had called him out on it and made fun of him for it? He definitely wasn't letting it go.

"So, I'm a dog. Does that mean you want me in a collar?" This was going so well. Whatever, he was not going to back off.

"Sure, whatever you're into." Jonathan slowly rose to his feet and stretched, feeling drops of rain hit him as he looked down at Edward, not sure what to say to him and too uneasy to give him any real answers. "I am an ass. I'm not a good person, I'm very unpleasant and you should think about that before you try to negotiate terms and work shit out. Don't get yourself all twisted. It was a kiss. Whatever."

He stubbed out his cigarette on the wall and dropped it on the floor, crushing it under his foot. "Maybe it was just the sinner in me, falling for temptation. My family always said I had the devil in me." It wasn't worth reading into. "Get your ass up, it's raining."

"You can't just do that!" Edward did get up, but he also took a step away, trying to think of just what he even meant by 'that'. He knew he was angry, but he wasn't even sure who he was angry with and he had the inkling that he was angry at himself more than Jonathan, which made him hold onto whatever notion he could find to direct his anger at Jonathan instead. "I play. You make it real. And then it's my fault?"

He moved forward now, grabbed Jonathan's shoulders and shoved him, so he hit the wall where he'd stubbed out the damn cigarette. "Fuck you, Jonathan." Then he kissed him. He'd win this.

And they were kissing again. Fucking great. Good way to end this. Jonathan huffed as he broke the kiss, putting both hands on Edward's face now to make him focus on him and only him, locking eyes with him so he couldn't look away. He needed to stop him. "You made it real when you wanted to play. Plenty of options but you have to take the destructive one. Every. Fucking. Time. Let it go, Edward."

Jonathan shoved Edward off him and looked at him, shaking his head and not knowing what to give Edward or take from him. He didn't know, he had no answers. "Go home, Ed. It's not the time for this." Jonathan turned away, shoved his hands into his pockets and left the alleyway, needing some space before he said something he regretted. Or Edward did.

won't you take me by the hand

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