"Echo?" Oh for fuck sake. Great, his girl knew. She'd tell fucking everyone in school, as if they didn't already bully the shit out of him for being gay. Not that he even knew if he was one or not. He realised he should have just told Edward to fuck off but it was hard to. When he played the way he did, when Jon was as drunk as he was, it just wasn't easy. But now it was. He didn't want to discuss it, he felt his guard come up out of fear of whatever would escalate next.
"Fuck off, Edward. I don't want to work out terms."
He pulled out a cigarette and lit it up, putting it in his mouth to actively deter Edward from getting close again. "Your little girlfriend don't know anything about me. Quit discussing me, it's fucking weird."
"I'm not saying she knows anything about you, she just felt as if you hated her even more than everyone else so she was theorising. I told her she's wrong." Edward sighed, realising that he'd messed this up. Of course, Jonathan would withdraw like that. He shouldn't have mentioned Echo, he hadn't even meant to, but he was so thrown by the entire situation that it had simply gotten away from him. "This has nothing to do with her. We have nothing to do with anyone else. It's just you and me, Jon. Fuck the world. I want to know where your head is at. Where--"
"I don't know." That was all he could answer with. He took a long inhale and then blew smoke into the air above him, looking up at the grey sky and pulling a face. Looked like the rain would start soon, he was going to get fucking soaked too. Just his luck for leaving his coat at home. "Things are good, yeah? Leave them be, Ed. If things are good then things are good. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. We ain't broke, are we?"
Jon smirked to himself and then laughed, pulling the cigarette from his mouth. "And I don't mean cash wise, that's just obvious. We're broke in that sense, I guess."
Leaving things be was not something Edward had ever been very good at. In fact, it was often a point of critique his father had for him. This was especially vexing in this situation, because Jonathan was his best friend. The one who mattered most. Realising that there were things about their relationship that he didn't entirely understand...
No, of course he couldn't leave that be. "Do you get jealous, Jonathan?" He just asked him right up. Maybe he could draw conclusions from his reaction. "Do you want me to be yours?"
"Do you ever think that you're an irritating smartass who can't let anything go. Seriously, you're like a fucking dog. I remember my grandpa had a hunting dog and it'd sink it's feet into vermin and keep the bodies in his jaw all the live long day, like it had to show it off to everyone. Wouldn't drop it. Think you two had a lot in common." Jonathan pointed out as he purposefully blew smoke at Edward, just to be an ass. Well, he was being challenged on things he was afraid to answer, what else did he do? Be honest? Christ, if he did that, he was beyond fucked.
He didn't even know if Edward even thought the way he did. He did have a girl, after all. "I want you to let it go."
Edward turned his head to the side and put his hands up to wave the smoke away, for all the good that didn't do. He coughed, then coughed some more, some of it for exaggerated effect. "Fuck you, with that."
That'd show him. He finally glared at Jonathan again, feeling quite justified in his anger. "Do you ever think that you are an unreasonable ass?" Because he most definitely was. But also, now that Jonathan had called him out on it and made fun of him for it? He definitely wasn't letting it go.
"So, I'm a dog. Does that mean you want me in a collar?" This was going so well. Whatever, he was not going to back off.
"Sure, whatever you're into." Jonathan slowly rose to his feet and stretched, feeling drops of rain hit him as he looked down at Edward, not sure what to say to him and too uneasy to give him any real answers. "I am an ass. I'm not a good person, I'm very unpleasant and you should think about that before you try to negotiate terms and work shit out. Don't get yourself all twisted. It was a kiss. Whatever."
He stubbed out his cigarette on the wall and dropped it on the floor, crushing it under his foot. "Maybe it was just the sinner in me, falling for temptation. My family always said I had the devil in me." It wasn't worth reading into. "Get your ass up, it's raining."
"You can't just do that!" Edward did get up, but he also took a step away, trying to think of just what he even meant by 'that'. He knew he was angry, but he wasn't even sure who he was angry with and he had the inkling that he was angry at himself more than Jonathan, which made him hold onto whatever notion he could find to direct his anger at Jonathan instead. "I play. You make it real. And then it's my fault?"
He moved forward now, grabbed Jonathan's shoulders and shoved him, so he hit the wall where he'd stubbed out the damn cigarette. "Fuck you, Jonathan." Then he kissed him. He'd win this.
And they were kissing again. Fucking great. Good way to end this. Jonathan huffed as he broke the kiss, putting both hands on Edward's face now to make him focus on him and only him, locking eyes with him so he couldn't look away. He needed to stop him. "You made it real when you wanted to play. Plenty of options but you have to take the destructive one. Every. Fucking. Time. Let it go, Edward."
Jonathan shoved Edward off him and looked at him, shaking his head and not knowing what to give Edward or take from him. He didn't know, he had no answers. "Go home, Ed. It's not the time for this." Jonathan turned away, shoved his hands into his pockets and left the alleyway, needing some space before he said something he regretted. Or Edward did.
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icebergloungers2021-01-31 12:59 pm
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"Fuck off, Edward. I don't want to work out terms."
He pulled out a cigarette and lit it up, putting it in his mouth to actively deter Edward from getting close again. "Your little girlfriend don't know anything about me. Quit discussing me, it's fucking weird."
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He gestured vaguely. "Where everything is at."
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Jon smirked to himself and then laughed, pulling the cigarette from his mouth. "And I don't mean cash wise, that's just obvious. We're broke in that sense, I guess."
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No, of course he couldn't leave that be. "Do you get jealous, Jonathan?" He just asked him right up. Maybe he could draw conclusions from his reaction. "Do you want me to be yours?"
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He didn't even know if Edward even thought the way he did. He did have a girl, after all. "I want you to let it go."
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That'd show him. He finally glared at Jonathan again, feeling quite justified in his anger. "Do you ever think that you are an unreasonable ass?" Because he most definitely was. But also, now that Jonathan had called him out on it and made fun of him for it? He definitely wasn't letting it go.
"So, I'm a dog. Does that mean you want me in a collar?" This was going so well. Whatever, he was not going to back off.
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He stubbed out his cigarette on the wall and dropped it on the floor, crushing it under his foot. "Maybe it was just the sinner in me, falling for temptation. My family always said I had the devil in me." It wasn't worth reading into. "Get your ass up, it's raining."
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He moved forward now, grabbed Jonathan's shoulders and shoved him, so he hit the wall where he'd stubbed out the damn cigarette. "Fuck you, Jonathan." Then he kissed him. He'd win this.
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Jonathan shoved Edward off him and looked at him, shaking his head and not knowing what to give Edward or take from him. He didn't know, he had no answers. "Go home, Ed. It's not the time for this." Jonathan turned away, shoved his hands into his pockets and left the alleyway, needing some space before he said something he regretted. Or Edward did.