"Blood rush." Jonathan dismissed as the walls cracked around him and the floor started melting. It was like a gross puddle of grey and he could drown any moment. The more lucid part of him wanted to drown right there and then. This was humiliating, he had enough awareness to know he was making a fool of himself. "You're laughing at me."
Jonathan looked at Edward and there was pain there. Pain, lust, wanting. So many feelings. "Aren't you?" The uncertainty made his voice crack in a way he wouldn't under any other circumstances. He was never one to be weak around Edward - it seemed like a very dangerous thing to do. "Please don't."
"I'm not laughing." Not right this moment, anyway. Although it was also not so funny now, when looking into Jonathan's eyes and his own heart was hurting somehow. Emotions always got the better of him sooner or later, something that often greatly annoyed him about himself. It was better than indifference though, feeling too much. Better than feeling nothing.
"I can't feel sorry for hurting you. I love that I can. See? No lying." It was proof of how much he meant to someone so little else meant anything to. Of course he loved it. "And you do matter to me, Jon. I care." He shrugged. "Making use of feelings does not mean those feelings aren't real. You understand that. Oxytocin, my beloved. Are you enjoying it?"
Instead of saying anything else, he leaned forward and kissed him.
The kiss was nice and Jonathan let himself fall into it, chasing after the feeling with an adrenaline spike right through him. He pulled back and he could still tasted Edward on his lips. "Oxytocin. I have been deprived. Oxytocin. Vasopressin." His dick was hard, his heart was racing and Edward was the only safe thing. The feel of him, the scent, the warmth. His whole body shivered.
"You want to be worshiped. Narcissist. Egotist." He giggled and tilted his head back, grinning. "Lucky day. Lucky boy. Dream boy. I think I made you exist just for me." And wasn't that an amazing power. His teenage daydream was a person. A very annoying, too powerful person who he would definitely need to have revenge on.
Ah well. Later. For now, he kissed him again, chasing after that beautiful sensation.
Oh, he was storing a lot of that information away for later. What a marvellous stash of confirmations and new discoveries he had there. Edward made sure to commit it all to memory, to properly analyse it later, because right now was the time to feel more so than think. Not that he could ever entirely shut off his brain.
Even as he kissed back and kept kissing Jonathan, giving him the sensations he needed to counterbalance that toxic cocktail still coursing through him.
In the end he stayed longer than he probably should have, especially with Bolton as head of security, but it was difficult to tear himself away. He whispered words to Jonathan before leaving him, sweet nothings and promises that might be empty or might not be. Then he had to go, both their pants stickier than they ought to be, and Edward's heart beating up to his throat from the high of arousal and affirmation and the dim fear of retribution. It never got boring, being him.
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Jonathan looked at Edward and there was pain there. Pain, lust, wanting. So many feelings. "Aren't you?" The uncertainty made his voice crack in a way he wouldn't under any other circumstances. He was never one to be weak around Edward - it seemed like a very dangerous thing to do. "Please don't."
no subject
"I can't feel sorry for hurting you. I love that I can. See? No lying." It was proof of how much he meant to someone so little else meant anything to. Of course he loved it. "And you do matter to me, Jon. I care." He shrugged. "Making use of feelings does not mean those feelings aren't real. You understand that. Oxytocin, my beloved. Are you enjoying it?"
Instead of saying anything else, he leaned forward and kissed him.
no subject
"You want to be worshiped. Narcissist. Egotist." He giggled and tilted his head back, grinning. "Lucky day. Lucky boy. Dream boy. I think I made you exist just for me." And wasn't that an amazing power. His teenage daydream was a person. A very annoying, too powerful person who he would definitely need to have revenge on.
Ah well. Later. For now, he kissed him again, chasing after that beautiful sensation.
no subject
Even as he kissed back and kept kissing Jonathan, giving him the sensations he needed to counterbalance that toxic cocktail still coursing through him.
In the end he stayed longer than he probably should have, especially with Bolton as head of security, but it was difficult to tear himself away. He whispered words to Jonathan before leaving him, sweet nothings and promises that might be empty or might not be. Then he had to go, both their pants stickier than they ought to be, and Edward's heart beating up to his throat from the high of arousal and affirmation and the dim fear of retribution. It never got boring, being him.