The Joker was sitting in the cell opposite Edward, covered in blood splatters and smiling that same unsettling smile. "Crafting today was murder, I couldn't get any of the parts I wanted." So he stabbed the craft teacher in the eye with a pair of scissors. Safety scissors. It was quite the feat but plastic could be sharp in it's own way. He yawned and lay back on the bed, wondering if he'd get out of his cell any time today. Probably not.
"What are you in for this time, kiddo? Batman on your ass again?"
"Ah, you know what it's like. People just don't enjoy getting their brains teased when they are too stupid to keep up." Was it really abduction when they could have just walked away if they'd gotten three riddles right? Edward really didn't think so. He looked the Joker over, wondering whether he'd wash off that blood before it started smelling. Ugh, that might become awful yet. "The education system is in crisis, if you ask me. I will try and improve that, next chance I get."
Maybe he could target deans, headmasters, the educational elite. "Batman caught me though. He sends his love, I'm sure." He indicated his face. "I bet one of those punches was for you."
"They always are. You're gonna have fun here, we got a lot of new stuff. We got a different cook, we have no glass in the rec room and a new therapist. He's weird so I like him. The last one quit, I made him pee himself." It was very funny and the Joker laughed at the memory. Oh, the good old days. Idly, the Joker got off his bed and approached the cell door, looking at Edward and meeting his eyes. "What are you doing just sitting there, Eddie? Unlock the door. I know you can. Big ol' brain like that. Unlock yours and then mine."
The Joker didn't need to imply an 'or else' because it was just always there with him. A static threat that would never fade. "I want to stretch my legs."
"New therapist, huh?" Maybe it was time to change up his diagnosis. Ed was getting sick of some aspects of it. He just wasn't feeling like keeping up the narcissism, it was exhausting. He looked at the doors once the Joker had issues his challenge, made his request, threat, order, whatever to call it, and he considered. Definitely a new system there too and it wasn't as if he'd been left with any tools. He got on his knees, finally, shuffling over to the door and considering the lock. The code had to be punched in from the outside, but if the lock functioned the way he thought it did...
His tongue peeked out at the corner of his mouth and he began his work, a look of focus on his face. However, he knew better than to bore the Joker, so he kept the conversation going. "Your two main squeezes are still out, aren't they? I'm sure they're working on springing you." Unless they were going through an off-again phase. Who could keep track?
"Delite said he was leaving for a new life in Bludhaven so ... I think he'll spring me before Harl does but let's see. I like to give them time but if I can free myself, all the better." He usually had an idea or two on how to get out but right now, he wanted to test who was more loyal and would come first. He had left on a bad note with one and a good note with the other and he wanted to see which was a better motivator - anger or admiration. He assumed both worked well. "I left them both during the heist and went after the Bat so Delite got mad but I think they should get it by now."
It was tragic in some ways, that people even loved him, but he didn't care. If they wanted to do it, that was their thing but he wasn't their property and he didn't care what they wanted. He wanted the bat.
"The new therapist says I'm a psychopath with brain trauma and the chemicals made me kooky when I took my swan dive but I disagree. I think a psychopath is a boring diagnosis."
"Kind of run of the mill, you're right. Although the brain trauma and chemicals do add some pizzazz. What diagnosis would you want? Personally, I was a fan of super sanity." What a bullshit concept that was, he remembered the night the Joker had first come up with that. Damn, he had been high then. "I used to just accumulate them, but maybe I'll get a diagnosis that suits me this time. Who knows?"
He was going to play it by ear, it wasn't as if he mattered. "I'm not as interesting as you." And he thanked the gods for that one. "I met both of your baes in the lounge not long ago, so at least they still have each oth-- Ah, getting somewhere here."
There had been a beep, so the door was beginning to unlock.
"I can't believe I talked that one chick into the super sanity. I'm sticking with it, no one can take it away from him. I'm so sane, it made me insane and that's true sanity." It was like philosophy 101 and he was not willing to let it go. The biggest myth he had ever spread was the super sanity bullshit and he was sticking with it to the bitter end. He watched Edward work away, a small smile on his face. "I wonder if you'd ever like a true diagnosis, Eddie. You don't like when people hold up the mirror unless you happen to be looking fine in it."
And he had a feeling that an accurate diagnosis would just upset his little buddy. Too bad, so sad.
The beeps went off and the Joker grinned, looking at Edward expectantly. "They got a new vending machine in the guard's lounge. You want a coke or a ... I don't know, fancy a redbull? I love it. Or they have this new one, Gotham made, called Slaughter Water. It's delightful."
"Slaughter Water sounds like they're putting pig's blood in it." Which was really not his idea of a good time, but he had a feeling the Joker disagreed with that assessment. He walked out of his cell and over to the Joker's, careful to keep his own wedged open. Then he knelt down and started the process again, although it should be considerably easier from the outside. "My diagnosis isn't as interesting as yours, so why bother? I just have compulsions, everything else is sprinkled on. I get bored."
How could he help it, given how smart he was? "I'll get a red bull, love that stuff." Really kicked the brain into hyper gear. "Come on out, my friend." Pushing the door open, he got back to his feet. "Let's walk a bit."
As soon as the Joker was out, he wrapped an arm around Edward and pulled him in close. He loved Eddie, he really did. When he first came to Arkham, he was young and cute, so fresh faced and ready to prove his worth. The Joker adored him, he was such a cutie. A little shit and a horrible bastard sometimes and yeah, the Joker had to punish him often but gosh, he did certainly adore him.
"Let's talk about December. I wanna call dibs. I already told all the other rogues about it. We're starting to pave the way, Ed. We're starting with holidays. The gangsters are out, the freaks are the future. I want you to take a holiday too." He didn't care which but he called dibs on Christmas. It was time.
"They're gonna clean up Gotham, did you hear? Ol' Jimmy-Jim, Batsy and Harvey Dent."
"So I've heard." It was kind of difficult to miss, Ed wasn't sure what to make of it. He leaned against the Joker, since it was always better to give in than to resist with him, thinking it over. "You can have December, I'm not sure any holiday really suits me. But I do think we need more theme commitment. These new ones, some of them? They think they can just get a mask and a bit of a gimmick and play in the big leagues. Takes more than that. They won't last."
He wouldn't let them last and he knew the Joker had similar sentiments. "Judicative, executive and the Bat cracking down is going to create pressure. Something is gonna give." He wondered what it'd be. "Dent's lasted longer than I'd have thought, pissing off so many people. Gorgeous face, frustrating bastard. I've been wanting to-- Damn, so many things I could do with that man."
"I hear from the insiders who work for the boring ol' gangsters that Maroni has dibs but given he's close to being caught by them, not sure if it'll pan out. I think if the gangsters don't get him, we will." He just wasn't sure how. Maybe someone would shoot him, maybe they'd drop him off a pier, maybe they'd rape his wife and kill them both. It was inevitable. "He hates us all, that's a bad luck. No one should pick a fight with the likes of us."
And yet, many did.
"These days, it's all the same. You have a gimmick and you kill but it's not just the killing that makes you a rogue. You can be in the club and never off a single one. It's passion, vision, creativity. It's being a new breed of man." And so many, they didn't have what it took.
The Joker frowned and then looked at Ed. "You're horny for the lawyer?"
"Hmm, not really. He's too vanilla, too corporate. I need someone with a few rough edges to really get me going, you know? I just want to have him strapped to a wheel and quiz him." But who didn't have those urges? Edward thought about that handsome face twisted in pain, perhaps some despair, and - sure - it did something for him. Although there was also something to be said for him being so triumphantly smug. He was a handsome bastard, had to give him that. "Here's hoping he'll at least make a pretty corpse, no matter who gets to him."
Maybe it could be him, even if he didn't much feel like killing him off. He didn't see the point, he preferred for people to stay around so he could play for longer. "What I am concerned with is culling those wannabes." Because quite a few of them were starting to piss him off. "No artistry."
"Tell you what - let's play. I'll keep the freaks on the move, the good ones, and we'll lead a charge on those boring old gangsters cause yawn, what a snooze. In turn, you can round up the ones that you think ain't worth our time. We pool together and massacre. What do you think?" There was a time when people told him that Edward was a poser so he had a lot of doubts on who was what. He wanted to hear a consensus and not general opinions and grudge taking. And Edward would have grudges, sure, but he didn't care who stole a riddle gimmick. They could die for all he cared.
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icebergloungers2022-10-23 01:33 pm
no subject
The Joker was sitting in the cell opposite Edward, covered in blood splatters and smiling that same unsettling smile. "Crafting today was murder, I couldn't get any of the parts I wanted." So he stabbed the craft teacher in the eye with a pair of scissors. Safety scissors. It was quite the feat but plastic could be sharp in it's own way. He yawned and lay back on the bed, wondering if he'd get out of his cell any time today. Probably not.
"What are you in for this time, kiddo? Batman on your ass again?"
no subject
Maybe he could target deans, headmasters, the educational elite. "Batman caught me though. He sends his love, I'm sure." He indicated his face. "I bet one of those punches was for you."
no subject
The Joker didn't need to imply an 'or else' because it was just always there with him. A static threat that would never fade. "I want to stretch my legs."
no subject
His tongue peeked out at the corner of his mouth and he began his work, a look of focus on his face. However, he knew better than to bore the Joker, so he kept the conversation going. "Your two main squeezes are still out, aren't they? I'm sure they're working on springing you." Unless they were going through an off-again phase. Who could keep track?
no subject
It was tragic in some ways, that people even loved him, but he didn't care. If they wanted to do it, that was their thing but he wasn't their property and he didn't care what they wanted. He wanted the bat.
"The new therapist says I'm a psychopath with brain trauma and the chemicals made me kooky when I took my swan dive but I disagree. I think a psychopath is a boring diagnosis."
no subject
He was going to play it by ear, it wasn't as if he mattered. "I'm not as interesting as you." And he thanked the gods for that one. "I met both of your baes in the lounge not long ago, so at least they still have each oth-- Ah, getting somewhere here."
There had been a beep, so the door was beginning to unlock.
no subject
And he had a feeling that an accurate diagnosis would just upset his little buddy. Too bad, so sad.
The beeps went off and the Joker grinned, looking at Edward expectantly. "They got a new vending machine in the guard's lounge. You want a coke or a ... I don't know, fancy a redbull? I love it. Or they have this new one, Gotham made, called Slaughter Water. It's delightful."
no subject
How could he help it, given how smart he was? "I'll get a red bull, love that stuff." Really kicked the brain into hyper gear. "Come on out, my friend." Pushing the door open, he got back to his feet. "Let's walk a bit."
no subject
"Let's talk about December. I wanna call dibs. I already told all the other rogues about it. We're starting to pave the way, Ed. We're starting with holidays. The gangsters are out, the freaks are the future. I want you to take a holiday too." He didn't care which but he called dibs on Christmas. It was time.
"They're gonna clean up Gotham, did you hear? Ol' Jimmy-Jim, Batsy and Harvey Dent."
no subject
He wouldn't let them last and he knew the Joker had similar sentiments. "Judicative, executive and the Bat cracking down is going to create pressure. Something is gonna give." He wondered what it'd be. "Dent's lasted longer than I'd have thought, pissing off so many people. Gorgeous face, frustrating bastard. I've been wanting to-- Damn, so many things I could do with that man."
There were oh so many ideas coming to mind.
no subject
And yet, many did.
"These days, it's all the same. You have a gimmick and you kill but it's not just the killing that makes you a rogue. You can be in the club and never off a single one. It's passion, vision, creativity. It's being a new breed of man." And so many, they didn't have what it took.
The Joker frowned and then looked at Ed. "You're horny for the lawyer?"
no subject
Maybe it could be him, even if he didn't much feel like killing him off. He didn't see the point, he preferred for people to stay around so he could play for longer. "What I am concerned with is culling those wannabes." Because quite a few of them were starting to piss him off. "No artistry."
no subject
"Together, Ed, we'll build a new Gotham."