"Maybe. Don't disagree. I don't think you're scared of me, I just think I'm more capable of hurting you." Maybe not in a physical fight but he was more likely to go for the throat than Edward. That much was obvious to him now. He looked at Edward and studied him carefully for a few moments before he looked away, taking a deep inhale. "I'm not some rebound game to play cause you lost your Alberto."
He just wanted to make that clear. He had no idea who Alberto was but he didn't want to be the guy he fooled around with just because he was lonely. "I'm not that guy. Find another."
It did hurt, hearing him say that name. Being reminded of that name. Edward closed his eyes and tried to let the pain wash over him, while taking another drag. He let the smoke out slowly, finally just laughing, ending in what was more of a giggle. "Doesn't matter what I do, Jonny, you realise that yet? You won't just get over this. More than fear can haunt you. Maybe you'll learn now."
He turned to look at him, sitting up enough to lean back on his elbows, grinning. "The way you want me. That's not gonna stop."
He might be wrong about that. Honestly, he had no idea. But what he was sure of was that Jonathan worried over it. He could read him well enough for that. All he needed.
"I can always bury feelings, it's easier than you'd think." And he had to try, didn't he? Love was a weakness, for a start. Not an option for a man like him but then, the added problem, the fact that Edward was Edward. A man. God, why? Why did he have to feel any of this? Perhaps there was a drug out there to dull emotions? It had to be possible. "Besides, I never said I wanted you."
He did but he didn't at the same time, it was very all over the place. He looked up at the leaking ceiling and sighed, exhaling smoke upward. "I just want to be alone."
"I bet you wanna be alone. Be alone and think about me writhing for you." Edward snorted, ready to embrace this as his one way to lash out, with how on edge he still felt. He thrust his hips up a little, faking a moan as he let his head fall back down. "Oh, Jonathan, please!"
He ended up laughing, sitting up with the joint between his lips. "Won't be thinking of me alone. Not a good boy like you. Maybe you'll think of me in church, huh? Next time you wanna jerk off there."
"Your so crass. Get your ass up, Ed. Let's get going."
He pulled himself to his feet and held out his hand, offering to Edward. After all, it was going to be a long drive in the dark and in the rain - best to get a move on before it got too heavy. He had a feeling he'd be running around all night, trying to catch the rain from the roof. "I'll drop you off."
Really, Ed wanted to be petulant and walk, but he was in the middle of nowhere and it was raining, so all he could do was get up by his own damn self, smoke his joint and try and look so very over it. It was helping him that this wasn't his first panic attack, even if it was chemically induced and a whole lot more lively. He knew how to cope. Or how to pretend that he was coping, anyway. Inwardly, he still felt like curling up and crying in fear. "Your hypothesis is closer to being correct than your father's. I'll say that."
And with that he headed for the door, so he could get the hell out of here.
"Good to know. I'll be sure to thank you if I ever publish my findings."
Jonathan held the door open for Edward and let him sulk, let him be petulant and hoped against hope that he learned his lesson. No more hanging with weird old Jonathan. He unlocked his car and got inside, starting it up and expecting that Edward had little intent to talk to him the ride back - he was fine with that. Jonathan liked not to talk.
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icebergloungers2021-02-13 09:10 pm
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He just wanted to make that clear. He had no idea who Alberto was but he didn't want to be the guy he fooled around with just because he was lonely. "I'm not that guy. Find another."
no subject
He turned to look at him, sitting up enough to lean back on his elbows, grinning. "The way you want me. That's not gonna stop."
He might be wrong about that. Honestly, he had no idea. But what he was sure of was that Jonathan worried over it. He could read him well enough for that. All he needed.
no subject
He did but he didn't at the same time, it was very all over the place. He looked up at the leaking ceiling and sighed, exhaling smoke upward. "I just want to be alone."
no subject
He ended up laughing, sitting up with the joint between his lips. "Won't be thinking of me alone. Not a good boy like you. Maybe you'll think of me in church, huh? Next time you wanna jerk off there."
no subject
He pulled himself to his feet and held out his hand, offering to Edward. After all, it was going to be a long drive in the dark and in the rain - best to get a move on before it got too heavy. He had a feeling he'd be running around all night, trying to catch the rain from the roof. "I'll drop you off."
no subject
And with that he headed for the door, so he could get the hell out of here.
no subject
Jonathan held the door open for Edward and let him sulk, let him be petulant and hoped against hope that he learned his lesson. No more hanging with weird old Jonathan. He unlocked his car and got inside, starting it up and expecting that Edward had little intent to talk to him the ride back - he was fine with that. Jonathan liked not to talk.