Jon didn't think he could eat today, he was so fucking nervous. And when he was nervous, he started reading into thinks. Did he look freakish? What was unfair about his attractiveness? Was Stephanie going to be cruel? Cause kids were! They pointed out every flaw with a smile and he wasn't damn eager for it but he didn't have time to stick on any of that cause Edward was taking his coat and pushing him forward. "A prince? I ain't no prince. I'm ... yeah. Dunno. Creepy villain that lives in the woods or somethin'."
Stephanie looked at Jonathan longer and then came up to him and held out her picture. "It's pumpkins cause you like Halloween. Dad told me."
Dad. Woah. The Riddle was a dad - it sounded so weird. Jonathan took the picture and looked at it. Looked like a bunch of basketballs but damn, it was sweet. Kids never gave him shit. "Damn, ain't you a little artist? Real good work. Thank you."
"Your eyes are sooooo blue." Stephanie added suddenly and then turned to Edward, grinning. "He's pretty enough, daddy. I checked. You can marry him."
"He does have the most beautiful eyes, doesn't he? I told you." Edward grabbed her around the middle to pick her up and spin her once, glad that he had had the chance to brace himself for that. "What did we say about marriage talk, you lil monster?"
He twirled her around once, then tickled her sides before setting her down again, smirking at Jonathan. "She's very eager to have me shackled, apparently. I think it's mostly because she wants to be a flower girl."
Well, that clearly had to be the incentive here. "She also decided there will be chocolate cake for dessert today, so I think your tastes align. Jonathan loves candy, Stephanie. Especially Halloween candy."
Stephanie giggled and bounced away from her dad, escaping his tickles as best he could. "Daaaaaddy! I'm just saying. You don't have to."
Jonathan had no idea what to do with all the merriment. Was he supposed to do something? He wasn't sure. It was cute - kinda. Edward seemed really happy. He hated when people were really happy, made him anxious. Happiness could get ruined so fast. What if Stephanie died? What would that do to a man like Edward? What-- oh, wait, he was supposed to focus. Edward was talking. "Hm. Oh. Yeah, well, tis the season for it. Or it will be soon."
"I love Halloween candy. Dad promised it'll be a good Halloween this year and that the mean ol' Scarecrow won't ruin it! So I'm gonna finally get candy." Stephanie loudly informed Jonathan, who looked more shocked than she'd noticed, as she climbed up the stools in the kitchen. "Do you wanna come trick or treating? If the Scarecrow comes, daddy will beat him up."
Jonathan's mouth was a little more open than he was proud of. He slowly turned and looked at Edward. There was a lot to unpack here. "... Yeah. Right." Fuck. He was in over his head. Kids were so chatty and happy and-- he ruined Halloween?!
"I told her that I'd take her trick or treating somewhere Halloween wasn't going to be ruined. So I figured you'd be the one to ask for advice." Edward smiled and shrugged, patting Jonathan's shoulder reassuringly. Or so he hoped. "You should have been there when she first told me all about how terrible the Riddler is."
That had been a lot to deal with too, at the time. Luckily, Stephanie got over it quickly enough. She never seemed to hold on to any fear of any rogue she met for too long. Maybe that was worrisome. "We got food from that place you like, so you can tell Stephanie what's good. I just know I'll have to do a lot of cardio to make up for this."
"I-- woah. This is a lot." Jonathan muttered so Edward knew that yeah, he was trying but holy fuck. He was out of his depth, so confused and -- he ruined Halloween? What? Why? How?! He made it fucking scary! Jonathan took a breath and then came to sit down cause, well, he agreed to. He sat himself down and hated that Stephanie was staring but he knew, she was a kid, it was normal. Why was he so bothered? "Sorry about Halloween, darling. I hope it's a better one for you this year."
Stephanie smiled and watched as Edward got the plates. The food looked so good, she really wanted to try so many things. "It will be, I have my daddy now and we do fun stuff all the time." She leaned forward and not so subtly tried to whisper. "My daddy thinks you're pretty. You should date him."
Jonathan huffed out a small laugh and leaned forward. "I think your daddy ain't into dating, darling. And if he was, I think he has better taste than a -- what did you call me last week?" Edward called him something. "Something barn boy..."
"...smelly. Smelly barn boy. I did, however, attach a single person possessive pronoun in front of that. My smelly barn boy. So, really, you've have to concede that there's a certain amount of romantic sentiment to it." All right, maybe he was the worst at dating, he knew that. But he was trying.
Getting up, he filled a plate for Stephanie, so she could try some of all the dishes, knowing how she liked to experiment. Especially with fried food. "You just tell me what you like best, princess." That said, he simply filled a plate for Jonathan as well. He was sure he'd eat eventually. Hopefully. "Anyway. I-- It's not as if I'm not into dating at all. And you are not smelly today."
"I showered before I came. I had a ... a lot of smokes. I'm trying to quit but these things are useless." Jonathan ranted as he pulled up his sleeve to show Edward his useless patch. These things did nothing.
"What is that?"
"It's to stop stupid adults from doing dumb stuff like smoking. Or it's supposed to but it ain't worth jack." Jonathan explained to Stephanie and then turned to Edward, wondering if he was really interested in dating this time. Cause he never was. Never did that. To be fair, neither did Jonathan. They were both too awkward.
"Cigarettes don't smell good and they make you cough a lot, so they are a bad idea," Edward told Stephanie, so he had fulfilled his parental duties. He looked at the patch on Jonathan's arm, keeping from outwardly seeming too smug about how Jonathan was trying to quit. Damn addict. "Maybe you'll have to start vaping. You're always just a step away from a hipster aesthetic anyway."
He doubted Jonathan would know what he was referencing, but that never stopped him. He entertained himself, that was what was most important. "No smoking in our place. So if you're staying here for a while, you'll have to quit."
"Dunno what my plan is but I left the house without my cigarettes so they ain't on the table tonight." He did have his lighter, he always travelled with it. The one thing he had from his father still. Maybe he'd let it go one day. Maybe. "So, Stephanie, do you like--" Oh. Fuck. What did he say? "-- Ed's house?"
"Dad has a cool house, it's full of robots."
"Yeah, I guess that's cool." Jon was less sure. It kind of freaked him out. "Your daddy has the best tech in Gotham."
"I know, he's making me a game so I can practise before I go back to school. Then I won't be dumb."
"Stephanie isn't dumb at all, but she's been neglected a little in the way of schooling so far. Not surprising, given what imbecile was raising her." Was that tactless to say? Whatever, the asshole had been an abuser, Edward didn't feel like showing him even a modicum of respect. "But you're not dumb, Stephanie. You're my daughter, you're smart, sweet and resilient. Very intelligent."
He assured her, then glanced at Jonathan, shrugging a little. "Normal intelligent." Which, he really felt, was probably healthier than his mind.
"I'm sure you're plenty bright. Dumb folk don't know their asses from their heads. As long as you do, you're fine. You ain't a moron." Jonathan wisely informed her and Stephanie giggled before looking at Edward, eyes wide with amusement at the forbidden word.
"Heh, he said ass." She liked that. "I know where mine is." Oh yeah. Normal intelligent. She knew where to find her butt.
"Is that a bad word? I don't know how to talk to kids."
Was he supposed to pick different words? Talk down to her? He really wasn't sure. He looked at Edward for guidance there. "My dad always swore in front of me so I'm assuming you ain't supposed to do that."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
3rs) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
icebergloungers2021-02-11 02:52 pm
no subject
Stephanie looked at Jonathan longer and then came up to him and held out her picture. "It's pumpkins cause you like Halloween. Dad told me."
Dad. Woah. The Riddle was a dad - it sounded so weird. Jonathan took the picture and looked at it. Looked like a bunch of basketballs but damn, it was sweet. Kids never gave him shit. "Damn, ain't you a little artist? Real good work. Thank you."
"Your eyes are sooooo blue." Stephanie added suddenly and then turned to Edward, grinning. "He's pretty enough, daddy. I checked. You can marry him."
no subject
He twirled her around once, then tickled her sides before setting her down again, smirking at Jonathan. "She's very eager to have me shackled, apparently. I think it's mostly because she wants to be a flower girl."
Well, that clearly had to be the incentive here. "She also decided there will be chocolate cake for dessert today, so I think your tastes align. Jonathan loves candy, Stephanie. Especially Halloween candy."
no subject
Jonathan had no idea what to do with all the merriment. Was he supposed to do something? He wasn't sure. It was cute - kinda. Edward seemed really happy. He hated when people were really happy, made him anxious. Happiness could get ruined so fast. What if Stephanie died? What would that do to a man like Edward? What-- oh, wait, he was supposed to focus. Edward was talking. "Hm. Oh. Yeah, well, tis the season for it. Or it will be soon."
"I love Halloween candy. Dad promised it'll be a good Halloween this year and that the mean ol' Scarecrow won't ruin it! So I'm gonna finally get candy." Stephanie loudly informed Jonathan, who looked more shocked than she'd noticed, as she climbed up the stools in the kitchen. "Do you wanna come trick or treating? If the Scarecrow comes, daddy will beat him up."
Jonathan's mouth was a little more open than he was proud of. He slowly turned and looked at Edward. There was a lot to unpack here. "... Yeah. Right." Fuck. He was in over his head. Kids were so chatty and happy and-- he ruined Halloween?!
no subject
That had been a lot to deal with too, at the time. Luckily, Stephanie got over it quickly enough. She never seemed to hold on to any fear of any rogue she met for too long. Maybe that was worrisome. "We got food from that place you like, so you can tell Stephanie what's good. I just know I'll have to do a lot of cardio to make up for this."
no subject
Stephanie smiled and watched as Edward got the plates. The food looked so good, she really wanted to try so many things. "It will be, I have my daddy now and we do fun stuff all the time." She leaned forward and not so subtly tried to whisper. "My daddy thinks you're pretty. You should date him."
Jonathan huffed out a small laugh and leaned forward. "I think your daddy ain't into dating, darling. And if he was, I think he has better taste than a -- what did you call me last week?" Edward called him something. "Something barn boy..."
no subject
Getting up, he filled a plate for Stephanie, so she could try some of all the dishes, knowing how she liked to experiment. Especially with fried food. "You just tell me what you like best, princess." That said, he simply filled a plate for Jonathan as well. He was sure he'd eat eventually. Hopefully. "Anyway. I-- It's not as if I'm not into dating at all. And you are not smelly today."
Nailing this.
no subject
"What is that?"
"It's to stop stupid adults from doing dumb stuff like smoking. Or it's supposed to but it ain't worth jack." Jonathan explained to Stephanie and then turned to Edward, wondering if he was really interested in dating this time. Cause he never was. Never did that. To be fair, neither did Jonathan. They were both too awkward.
no subject
He doubted Jonathan would know what he was referencing, but that never stopped him. He entertained himself, that was what was most important. "No smoking in our place. So if you're staying here for a while, you'll have to quit."
no subject
"Dad has a cool house, it's full of robots."
"Yeah, I guess that's cool." Jon was less sure. It kind of freaked him out. "Your daddy has the best tech in Gotham."
"I know, he's making me a game so I can practise before I go back to school. Then I won't be dumb."
no subject
He assured her, then glanced at Jonathan, shrugging a little. "Normal intelligent." Which, he really felt, was probably healthier than his mind.
no subject
"Heh, he said ass." She liked that. "I know where mine is." Oh yeah. Normal intelligent. She knew where to find her butt.
"Is that a bad word? I don't know how to talk to kids."
Was he supposed to pick different words? Talk down to her? He really wasn't sure. He looked at Edward for guidance there. "My dad always swore in front of me so I'm assuming you ain't supposed to do that."