Breaking into this place seemed beneath him for a number of reasons, but mostly Edward just minded the dirt. The dirt and that vague feeling of coming home, in only the worst meaning of that phrase. The Narrows hadn't changed and he guessed the Cluemaster never saw fit to put what little intellect he possessed to good use and upgrade his living situation.
It was pretty laughable that the man thought he could even compare to him when he couldn't even afford to dress the part, much less something like a decent place to live.
However, all those complaints aside, it did make his job easier. He had made his way up the fire escape and then through the window in no time. Dusting himself off, he looked around. He was dressed casually. Well. He was dressed in a suit, but it was relatively subtle, black rather than green, and only now did he dig into his pocket for a purple domino mask and put it on. Obviously that was just to get himself into the right headspace, not as if it was ever good for actually protecting his identity. He didn't actually expect to run into someone here, after all. Edward looked around the room, seemed to be a living room area. If he was a complete imbecile, then where would he be keeping his computer?
That was a harder mindset to get into.
"Get a clue indeed..." He chuckled to himself, then turned around, scanning the room. Ugh. Hygiene also wasn't the man's strength. Or any basic sense of order.
There was a strange noise and the window was making sound, causing Stephanie to wake up and sit there, in her bed, sleepily processing what was happening. She wasn't really scared of noise and people were in and out of the apartment a lot. Especially mom. She was always making noise and moving around, in and out all hours. She would have just gone back to bed but she did want to make sure that her mom wasn't all bloody or sick again. She slid off the bed and yawned, padding along through her bedroom and pushing the door open.
"Mom? Mom? ... Dad?"
Usually dad didn't come home this late and when he did, he was in a bad mood so she slowed her movements when her mom didn't answer, just in case. As she came into the living room, she tilted his head back and stared at Edward, more baffled than anything. "... Hi."
"...oh." Edward tried a smile, since that seemed like the best response. Why was there a child? Well, he could figure that one out. Ugh, why did people that were this awful have to have children? Just seemed like an awful, awful idea. But he wasn't here to retroactively sterilise idiots, although there was an idea for a scheme.
He crouched down to be closer to level with the child, since putting her at ease was clearly the best thing to do in this situation. "Nice to meet you." Maybe he could just act as if everything was all right and she'd believe him. "I'm just here to surprise your dad. It's a secret."
"My dad doesn't love surprises. You better go. He gets mad." And then he might throw the strange looking man out of the window or something. He looked Edward up and down before pointed at his mask curiously. "Is that so dad doesn't know who you are? Cause it's not very good." It was only covering his eyes! It wasn't going to surprise anyone. Looking away from Edward, she peered around to see if either her mom and dad were about before settling back on Edward.
"Can you get me a glass of water? Before you leave." It was hard to reach the taps and this was safer. "Please."
"...sure." As good a reason to get further into the apartment as any, he supposed. He knew the parents weren't coming home any time soon, he had made sure of that, but having the little child there still put him on edge more. "It's all right. I know what I'm doing, your dad won't get mad at me."
Edward stood up and headed in the direction of what he presumed was the kitchen. "The mask just brings out my eyes. Looks good, don't you think so? What's your name, sweetheart?" He took one look around the filthy place and then started washing a glass. Ugh. Everything about this man and his entire way of living was repulsive. "Remind me to surprise your dad with the concept of hygiene some time."
"I'm Stephie. Who are you? I don't think I know you." Stephanie clearly wasn't getting too hung up on those details though, she bypassed some garbage on the floor and then pointed over to the fridge so Edward took note. "Mom broke a bowl of leftovers and then ran out so you have to be careful or you might hurt yourself." She wasn't sure what happened, her mom dropped it, cried and then she went out and didn't come back.
Now the danger had been highlighted and warned about, she came over to stand by Edward and looked up, watching him wash glasses curiously. "Why are you doing that?"
"That's so the glasses are clean. That way, there won't be any dirt in your water when you drink it. A lot healthier that way." Maybe that was the simplest explanation he could muster up that wouldn't turn this little girl into a germaphobe. Edward knew what that was like, he remembered when he first learned about these matters. He assumed his fondness for wearing gloves stemmed from that time.
He finally filled a glass with water and handed it to her. "I'm Eddie. I know your parents, but I didn't know you existed." He must have missed that. He assumed Cluemaster didn't exactly advertise her existence, which was at least some sign of base intelligence. "How old are you, Stephie?"
"Thank you, Eddie." She took the glass of water and smiled softly at Edward before she took a sip, using both hands to grip the glass firm so it didn't spill. "I'm five, and six months. Six months is half a year so I'm basically six." Stephanie knew that she was getting bigger, her mom cried about it sometimes and sometimes, she yelled at her to grow faster - it was so confusing. "Why are you here, Eddie? What's the surprise?"
She wasn't sure what it was but it couldn't be a birthday party or christmas. "Is it a puppy?"
"Five and a half years, yes? Wow, that's very impressive." Edward's mind was working. Of course it was. And since it was going to do that anyway, he tried to distract himself by talking to her and by walking back into the living room, starting a more focused search. "Well, Stephanie, to tell you the truth? I'm not really very fond of your father. I find him quite annoying. So my surprise will be to play a little trick on him, you see? That's why it has to be our secret. But he's a bit of a bas--"
Hm. "Butthead, isn't he? I think he deserves a bad surprise."
"He is a butthead... but if you upset him, he gets mad! He hits and he locks you in the scary closet. You don't wanna go in there, Eddie. It's dark and there's monsters." Stephanie warned Edward as she followed him, trailing behind like a duckling. She didn't have any idea what was going on but Eddie seemed nice so she wanted to protect him. Eddie was handsome and smelled good so he was the best boy she knew. "You have to be careful. If you do it then you can't stick around long."
She stood still and looked around, as if she could find what Edward wanted to find. "What do you need? I can help. I'm a good finder."
"Oh, I'm sure you could. You seem a lot smarter than him." His mind kept working away and Edward reached out, running a hand through her hair. "But I don't want to get you into trouble, sweetheart, do I? Best leave it to me. I can deal with your father being mad at me."
The very last thing he was concerned with was whether the Cluemaster would have a grudge against him. Because, duh. He was a superior version of anything that man could even inspire to be. However, his heart had started beating faster listening to her. Her perspective of her father was a very different one, reminiscent of things he didn't want to know about. "A father's child, a mother's child... Who are you, Stephanie, hm?"
Edward looked at her thoughtfully, inspecting her face. Damn. He reached into his inside pocket and got a pen out, handing it to her. "Do you see that little button on the side? That turns on a light. It's like a hidden flashlight. Very helpful against closet monsters."
"Woah, that's cool. Can I see it?" She waited for the go-ahead before taking it and pointing the light around the room, eyes wide with wonder. Well, this was the first fun thing she'd gotten to play with in a while. She could go exploring with this? Exploring things that weren't scary. At first. One day, she could conquer the closet and defeat the monsters. "I could also use it at night. When the lights go all off, it gets so scary. Especially when no one else is home. Sometimes the power just goes off!"
It was the Narrows, power was not consistent and some villain was usually doing something, blackouts were just too common here. "Do you ever get scared when all the lights go out?"
"Yes, of course. It is smart, you know? Being scared of the dark just means that you consider possibilities. It means you have an active mind. If you weren't scared of the dark at all, chances are you'd be a dumb-dumb." Edward had finally found the computer he'd been looking for, so he settled down on the ground and plugged in the device he'd brought along, the used his phone to actually access the data, circumventing any potential security measures.
Looking at her again, he smiled, propping his head up on the arm he had slung around his knee. "You can keep the pen, Stephanie. It's my present to you. For your five and a half birthday."
"Really? Woah! Thank you!" Stephanie giggled as she rushed around the room, finding any dark corner to shine the light and forgetting all about how late it was or that she should probably be in bed. She eventually sat on the living room floor, turning the pen on and off as she wanted Eddie type super fast on the computer and click on all kinds of stuff. "Dad doesn't get on with the computer. He says it's a fad." She wasn't sure what that meant but he said it when angry and trying to make it do things.
"Are you going to play a prank on his computer? Are you gonna change his pictures or... make his computer reaaaaaally loud." All funny pranks, all rich material to play with.
"All excellent ideas," Edward agreed with her, before handing his phone over to the girl. "You see that blue bar on the bottom? Tell me when that is full, yes? You can be my assistant." And it would give her something to do where she couldn't do any damage. "Your father is very small-minded. Computers, the internet, that is the future. That is the way to understand the world, to control things. If you can use the internet to your advantage, you can do whatever you want. Do you understand?"
"I guess. I don't think I can control this world though, it's too big. I think it'd be exhausting. It's a lot of responsibility. I'm not ready for a lot of that yet." Stephanie answers seriously as she considered the idea of being that strong, of controlling and understanding all the things. Seemed like a headache, she wasn't sure if she wanted to do it. "I recently learned how to make a sandwich. It's really easy. I made a PB and J and then I cut off the crusts. I eat the crusts but it's fun to cut them off cause everyone else does."
She looked down at the device and then finally, the bar filled along. "It's all blue!"
"You don't have to worry about controlling anything yet, you are right. You should just focus on sandwich making." This little girl was, admittedly, adorable, Edward wasn't going to pretend differently. However, that cuteness was beside the point. There was more to it. "Thank you!"
He reached for the phone and looked at the screen, tapping a bit to get the right options and smiling a satisfied smile. "Almost done. Stephanie, do you have your own hairbrush? You have such pretty hair, I'd like to brush it for you."
Honestly, he really would. It looked a mess and she could be so much prettier. However, he also just needed some of her DNA.
"It's really long, huh?" It was getting very wild and out of control, that was what happened when no one took care of it and it just ended up tangled and sticking out everywhere. She didn't mind it, she didn't have that ability to grasp it wasn't amazingly taken care of yet. She got up onto her feet and walked over to Edward, holding out to her hand with such earnest trust. "I have a brush in my room, do you wanna see my room? It's nice, I decorated it myself."
She had covered the wall in all of her drawings and that had helped to bring some cheer to an otherwise dull little room.
"I'd love to see it, sweetheart." Edward took her hand and got to his feet, mostly hoping he could get out of here soon and have a very hot bath and get all his clothes washed. However, it did leave that strange feeling in his gut, thinking about Stephanie staying here. And not just because this place was a shithole. "You are a little artist, aren't you? Would you look at that."
He didn't have to fake his enthusiasm for her drawing, he could see the early signs of talent right there. For her age, that was a lot of colour coordination and an eye for design, he could tell. "Is that your brush?" He picked it up from her bed, holding it up with a smile. "Sit down on the bed, all right?"
This kid was too trusting, it suddenly occurred to him. Not a bad thing in his case, but in general? She lived in the Narrows for crying out loud!
"I like to draw. I can draw you! I can give it to you next time I see you." She wasn't sure if she would see him again but it would be nice. He was a nice man who was getting her water and gave her a present - he was very happy to trust him. He was way nicer than her own parents. Sitting on her bed, she bounced a little and turned with her back to Edward - yeah, no, way too trusting.
"Brush it really gentle cause it hurts a lot sometimes." It pulled and the hair got stuck, she didn't want Eddie to hurt her but she did want her hair to be all pretty. If she was a pretty princess then Edward would want to come back and hang with her again. Who didn't like princesses?
"I will come back." Edward brushed her hair carefully, thanking the experience he had gathered over the years, such as when brushing his sister's or Echo's hair. Stephanie's hair was a tangled mess, but he made sure not to pull too hard and slowly it became silky and shiny, the way it should be. "When I come next time, I'll bring another present. Do you have any wish?"
He really wanted to teach her a lesson about distrusting strangers, but - given circumstances - that would be counterproductive.
"I want... an alien baseball hat." Yes, she was making that up but she did want one. She honestly felt like she needed more hats, it was hard to play pretend without more costumes. It was hard to show she wasn't herself if she didn't have a fun hat or outfit. Or both, why not both? She hummed to herself as she thought it over, just debating potential hats. "Or like a war helmet from mars! Or a cowboy hat!"
All great hats. She smiled to herself excitedly. "Why do you wanna bring me presents? It's not my birthday."
"There's always a reason to get presents, don't you think?" Edward smiled and then leaned forward, propping his chin on her shoulder and pulling out his phone so he could take a picture of the two of them. That should help him with his analysis while he waited for the test results. "Look, you look like a princess now. Shiny hair."
He gently ran a hand over her head, down her hair. "So pretty. You are bright inside and out now."
"Are you like... are you a fairy Godmother? But a boy?" She wasn't sure what was happening but he wasn't scary, he was a thug and he was helping her look all pretty like a princess. So was he magic or was she just really lucky? She turned around so she could look at Edward and climbed up onto her knees so she could touch Edward's hair. It was kinda tough from gel but pretty soft and nice.
"You have pretty fairy hair so maybe you are a fairy." Science. 100% science.
"Not the first time I've been called a fairy." Although definitely the first time it was with such sincerity and that sweet a smile. "But I'm afraid there's nothing magical about me. I'm--" He should probably steer clear of 'Riddler', in case she was scared of the big name rogues, as he hoped she was. Although apparently there were some basic survival lessons she had missed out on. "I'm just a friend, yes? To you. Not to your parents. And it's a secret, remember?"
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It was pretty laughable that the man thought he could even compare to him when he couldn't even afford to dress the part, much less something like a decent place to live.
However, all those complaints aside, it did make his job easier. He had made his way up the fire escape and then through the window in no time. Dusting himself off, he looked around. He was dressed casually. Well. He was dressed in a suit, but it was relatively subtle, black rather than green, and only now did he dig into his pocket for a purple domino mask and put it on. Obviously that was just to get himself into the right headspace, not as if it was ever good for actually protecting his identity. He didn't actually expect to run into someone here, after all. Edward looked around the room, seemed to be a living room area. If he was a complete imbecile, then where would he be keeping his computer?
That was a harder mindset to get into.
"Get a clue indeed..." He chuckled to himself, then turned around, scanning the room. Ugh. Hygiene also wasn't the man's strength. Or any basic sense of order.
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"Mom? Mom? ... Dad?"
Usually dad didn't come home this late and when he did, he was in a bad mood so she slowed her movements when her mom didn't answer, just in case. As she came into the living room, she tilted his head back and stared at Edward, more baffled than anything. "... Hi."
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He crouched down to be closer to level with the child, since putting her at ease was clearly the best thing to do in this situation. "Nice to meet you." Maybe he could just act as if everything was all right and she'd believe him. "I'm just here to surprise your dad. It's a secret."
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"Can you get me a glass of water? Before you leave." It was hard to reach the taps and this was safer. "Please."
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Edward stood up and headed in the direction of what he presumed was the kitchen. "The mask just brings out my eyes. Looks good, don't you think so? What's your name, sweetheart?" He took one look around the filthy place and then started washing a glass. Ugh. Everything about this man and his entire way of living was repulsive. "Remind me to surprise your dad with the concept of hygiene some time."
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Now the danger had been highlighted and warned about, she came over to stand by Edward and looked up, watching him wash glasses curiously. "Why are you doing that?"
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He finally filled a glass with water and handed it to her. "I'm Eddie. I know your parents, but I didn't know you existed." He must have missed that. He assumed Cluemaster didn't exactly advertise her existence, which was at least some sign of base intelligence. "How old are you, Stephie?"
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She wasn't sure what it was but it couldn't be a birthday party or christmas. "Is it a puppy?"
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Hm. "Butthead, isn't he? I think he deserves a bad surprise."
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She stood still and looked around, as if she could find what Edward wanted to find. "What do you need? I can help. I'm a good finder."
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The very last thing he was concerned with was whether the Cluemaster would have a grudge against him. Because, duh. He was a superior version of anything that man could even inspire to be. However, his heart had started beating faster listening to her. Her perspective of her father was a very different one, reminiscent of things he didn't want to know about. "A father's child, a mother's child... Who are you, Stephanie, hm?"
Edward looked at her thoughtfully, inspecting her face. Damn. He reached into his inside pocket and got a pen out, handing it to her. "Do you see that little button on the side? That turns on a light. It's like a hidden flashlight. Very helpful against closet monsters."
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It was the Narrows, power was not consistent and some villain was usually doing something, blackouts were just too common here. "Do you ever get scared when all the lights go out?"
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Looking at her again, he smiled, propping his head up on the arm he had slung around his knee. "You can keep the pen, Stephanie. It's my present to you. For your five and a half birthday."
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"Are you going to play a prank on his computer? Are you gonna change his pictures or... make his computer reaaaaaally loud." All funny pranks, all rich material to play with.
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She looked down at the device and then finally, the bar filled along. "It's all blue!"
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He reached for the phone and looked at the screen, tapping a bit to get the right options and smiling a satisfied smile. "Almost done. Stephanie, do you have your own hairbrush? You have such pretty hair, I'd like to brush it for you."
Honestly, he really would. It looked a mess and she could be so much prettier. However, he also just needed some of her DNA.
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She had covered the wall in all of her drawings and that had helped to bring some cheer to an otherwise dull little room.
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He didn't have to fake his enthusiasm for her drawing, he could see the early signs of talent right there. For her age, that was a lot of colour coordination and an eye for design, he could tell. "Is that your brush?" He picked it up from her bed, holding it up with a smile. "Sit down on the bed, all right?"
This kid was too trusting, it suddenly occurred to him. Not a bad thing in his case, but in general? She lived in the Narrows for crying out loud!
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"Brush it really gentle cause it hurts a lot sometimes." It pulled and the hair got stuck, she didn't want Eddie to hurt her but she did want her hair to be all pretty. If she was a pretty princess then Edward would want to come back and hang with her again. Who didn't like princesses?
"Will you come back?"
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He really wanted to teach her a lesson about distrusting strangers, but - given circumstances - that would be counterproductive.
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All great hats. She smiled to herself excitedly. "Why do you wanna bring me presents? It's not my birthday."
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He gently ran a hand over her head, down her hair. "So pretty. You are bright inside and out now."
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"You have pretty fairy hair so maybe you are a fairy." Science. 100% science.
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