icebergloungers | THE Doctor IS IN

"It's a televised appearance, so there is a lot to consider. My wardrobe choices alone..." A quick smile passed his lips, as that comment wasn't entirely serious. He had already chosen his outfit, after all, but still. Appearances were important. "I can't explain all the reasons behind it, but the plan is a simple matching of wits. Perhaps with the second smartest man in Gotham."

He didn't really doubt that all of that would go smoothly. He was trying to stay on top of his long-term goals and motives, however. "Indirectly, some of my actions may be causing a shift in Gotham's criminal structure."

Turning his head, he looked up at the ceiling, running his tongue along his lower lip as he thought. "It's been a long time coming."

"The criminal structure? So, if I had to guess, you're talking about big names. And if it was rogues, you would say rogue and not criminal. So the gang leaders, yes? And it wouldn't be Oswald, would it? We may have our issues from time to time with Oswald but he is a necessary evil. More so than anyone else. Who else is left who is strictly criminal to you?" Jonathan did enjoy thinking about these things, as much as he liked to play the idiot and never listen to whatever was said - he was often out of the loop but he wasn't unable to deduce with the best of them when he had to.

He knocked back some more of his coffee and pondered who Edward could mean.

"The big criminal types are Oswald, Romana, Falcone and ... is Maroni still going?" He wasn't sure but he vaguely felt like he heard of Two-Face offing him.

"Not so much, no. Maroni is out of the play." For rather obvious reasons. Not that Edward was surprised that Jonathan hadn't been keeping up. What else was new? He settled down on his elbows, letting his thoughts wander. Jonathan's place was good for that, perhaps because the man really was right. It wasn't as if he'd leak it anywhere. To his knowledge, he was by far the person Jonathan talked to the most.

"Jonny, when you first got to the city, what did you do? I'm wondering. I assume interpersonal relationships were never for you?"

"When I first got here, I slept for two days cause the journey was awful and long. Then I went to Arkham, for work, naturally, and that was essentially what I focused on. My job. I hardly went out and socialised. Socialing is merely a side-effect of my job." Not one he liked either but it was true. It was just part of his life. "Made no friends for a while, didn't test my toxin for about six months? Something like that. It isn't so exciting."

Really, nothing was that interesting until he started drugging patients and spiking the water. "Oh, I also found the best southern take out in my first week, I know my priorities. Why?"

"See, I did a lot of it. Socialising. I suppose I always do. On and off. More on than off." He certainly had gone through self-isolating periods at times throughout his life, but right now he had two roommates and if he didn't hang with people in real life, he likely chatted with a few online. Sometimes all at the same time. "Back then, when I'd started feeling... unobstructed. I did socialise a lot. And when you do, I suppose it's inevitable that some of these social contacts stand out more. Especially when you start prioritising them. Her. Anna."

He curled his lips after saying the name. "Don't know what was special about her, in retrospect. Although, of course, you might try and tell me that I've built her up initially, then ripped her down eventually, to find closure. That sounds like something a therapist would say. Condensed. I know I'm not one to talk, I love my own voice as much as anyone who gets to listen to me should, but your profession does have a tendency to talk around things a lot."

"I guess I don't have to say it." Jonathan liked that about Edward, he often therapised himself while Jonathan did other things. Like right now, he finished his steak and started hunting for his cobbler. Of course, he had already eaten his sides - he was a fast eater and he didn't like to waste time with food.

"Anna was a girl you liked, loved, built up and tore down. Sounds about right for a man like you. Trouble with you, Edward, you want love and to be loved. Means you're more likely to chase people and build them up for your own validation." How could he put it simply to avoid talking about it? Hmm. "You're needy."

"Oh, I'm not denying that." Edward chuckled and shrugged, deciding that he didn't have the grace to feel embarrassed about that. "I simply feel I am well worth being at the centre of someone's world. Especially if I deign to give them that much attention."

Honestly, he felt that was only fair. "Anna, that was before the Riddler. Before, you know, all that. I rid myself of her and whatever infatuation I harboured. And, yes, I suppose I may have used the fact that I am, at my core, a cool logician, to convince myself that she was beneath my efforts. Mind over heart, if you will."

He sat up, but only to pull up his knees and wrap his arms around them. "After Anna... The next one. I needed more that time."

"I've never been in love so this is not my area. Not that I have no experience in that area but love is not an emotion I feel strongly. I have trust issues, I suppose." Didn't everyone? Without histrionic personality disorder to make him overlook that, he had a lot less experience than Edward chasing after such feelings. He finished off his coffee and leaned back against his armchair, wondering if he should clear the crap off it so he could actually sit on it but eh, floor was fine.

"The next one? I assume the next one came when you were the Riddler." He paused and then considered what Edward had said, correcting himself. "Came or will come, of course. I make no assumptions."

"I was the Riddler. And he-- His name doesn't matter. Anyway, he knew who I was. I believe he liked it. Thrilled him." Edward pondered it for a moment, then shook his head and pushed the thought aside. Some memories were better off compartmentalised. "I got rid of him. Had to."

He inspected his nails. Ugh, chipped nail polish. He hated that. "I set something up, he has been relocated. Witness protection program, not related to me officially. I don't know where he is. That felt like the best way to cut ties. I believe these days, I'd not care if I ran into him."

Considering it for a moment, he laughed. "Who knows? It will remain a hypothesis." Healthier for them both.

"Why are you telling me about love, Edward?" Pulling out his cigarettes, he lit one up and inhaled, exhaling slowly into the air and away from Edward so he didn't start ranting at him. The rant was inevitable but he wanted to try and put it off until they got to what Edward really wanted to talk about. Edward was clearly looking to get something off his chest - maybe it wasn't love, maybe it was just him lamenting how attached he was to people but who was he so attached to that he felt like this.

Then he remembered last time they talked and a small idea floated around his head. He took a long drag before taking a shot in the dark. "You still talking to Harvey Dent?"

"For a little while yesterday. Texting. I doubt I'll be in contact with him much in the next time." At least that would be the smart thing to do. "You know, Jonny, I'm a lot more self-aware than they like to believe. I just also know that I'm remarkable, I've never been delusional."

It wasn't his fault that he was brilliant. But he was not blind to his faults. He looked at Jonathan, snorting when he noted the cigarette. Of course. "These days, I go for short, but sweet. Or longer, but toxic. And never too deep."

He got on his knees and then crawled over the little bit of distance, sitting right in front of Jonathan, close enough to inhale the smoke. It made his point nicely, even if he had to cough, putting a hand on Jonathan's shoulder to brace himself. "You'd know."

"Short and sweet? Tsk. That's one way to put it." Jonathan smirked at Edward and blew a small stream of smoke towards him, amused by how Edward was playing today. He was all over the place in some ways, but keen and sharp like he always was. He found it amusing, really, that Edward thought he could beat some of his old, outstanding issues so easily. He had come along leaps and bounds but even so, things were never that simple.

"It's easy for you not to get attached to me. I'm an ass. You always say it, you know it. I'm not someone people form a connection with." He reached out and playfully, he stroked along Edward's face and down to his jaw, unable to deny that he was very handsome. He had no regrets. "How will you feel when you like someone not like me? Someone sweet."

Oh yeah, he hadn't forgotten that.

Edward was responsive, because it came naturally to him and because he knew that him being so appealed to a man with Jonathan's interests. There were many ways to flirt, in this specific case having his eyes widen and visibly shivering under Jonathan's touch was an easy one. It wasn't as if he had to fake how sensitive he was.

"Oh, we have a connection. And you are an ass. Look at you, remembering things I say whenever it's annoying and never when I need you to." Edward wasn't all that annoyed, however. He wasn't sure how much he'd needed Jonathan to work things out, but the man did make a good sounding board and he didn't anticipate much bad coming from him connecting the dots. "I can tell you that it's a lot more expensive than buying some greasy food for an ass."

"So you're planning a big event to shake up the criminal world of Gotham for your new beau, Harvey Dent? I see why that has you on edge. Whether or not it ultimately means anything, whether or not you actually connect, it's still a big gesture." And in many ways, it had ups and downs - it could be a pitfall, it could come to nothing and offer no validation or it could be an open door that Edward would have to do down.

Leaning forward, Jonathan put their foreheads together and sighed, unable to get rid of the smile on his face. "Ed, Ed, Ed. What do you to do yourself?" People just wrecked him. Leaning in, he stole a kiss from Edward. Cause why the hell not?

"Ugh, you don't know the half of it. I gave up information worth millions for something I don't even intend to ever let him know about." Honestly, Edward already felt that he'd have to take advantage of the Lucius and Zsasz connection for his own sake too, just so he could sleep peacefully again. Whether that'd work. Probably not.

He kissed back, rather eager to deepen it, solely so he could wipe that damn smile off Jonathan's face, not that he had much hope for that. Breaking away, he laughed. What else to do? "I'm well aware it's all in my mind. I never got how what was supposed to help. What's more dangerous than my mind?"

"The mind is a prison. I don't think it helps, it just makes it more understandable. People prefer to have something they can understand, even if they can't fix it." And he supposed for men like Edward, that probably just made it more frustrating. He knew what it was, he knew it could be fixed in theory but that didn't make it something he could fix. That must have been irritating to a man like Edward.

"Why are you so smitten? What did he do that made you want to give up that?" And how damn charming was Harvey Dent? He really did wonder.

"Nothing. He's just--" Edward tried to think about it in terms that he could put into words, as if there was a lot of sound reasoning to it. There really wasn't. "See, when I was in school, I didn't much care for anyone there. I'm sure you can relate. My classmates were idiots, my bullies were idiotic brutes and my teachers were ignorant cowards. But if I had had the kind of school experience that only ever exists in theory, Harvey Dent would have been the football star with the heart of gold that gives me his jacket to wear so I stay cosy."

It worked well enough to bring his point across. Although he did have to add, with a smirk. "And Two-Face is the guy that'd make my bullies scream for mercy. You know. There is that spice."

He reached up, playing with Jonathan's hair and leaning their foreheads together again. Ugh. He hated the smoke, but there was more underneath. A hint of toxin. A lot of Jonathan's scent, but on a good day. He must have showered recently, he could tell by his hair. It was a nice scent. Comforting, if comfort came from being on edge and slightly aroused, which it did at times. "It's more than that though. You keep showing those books to me, I read, I remember. I know about Dissociative Identity Disorder. If I had him, I'd have him, wouldn't I? I could be everything. I could do anything and he'd still... You know me well enough to understand what a rush that thought alone is."

Edited 2021-01-30 23:28 (UTC)

"You would be the only one. Love for that sort is love for life, they would struggle to move on. It's very appealing for you but very dangerous. You would hold someone's heart in your hands. Someone you liked. And you would have all that power. Arousing, yes, but I know you. You don't like to play God." Edward liked to test people, not play with people. Similar but different. Beneath everything, he had empathy and the ability to love. He cared for people and loved people - to be able to hurt them so badly? That was something that was worth considering.

It was hard to know what advise to give Edward, both pros and cons floated around his head but he did know that regardless of what he suggested, Edward would make up his own mind. Jonathan was merely his sounding board. He had to offer the opposing side.

Inhaling deep, he pulled Edward into another kiss, just wanting to get a little something out of this relationship drama. "DID is unpredictable, difficult to treat and can be a bit of pain. You really want that challenge?"

Ed groaned against Jonathan's lips, then nipped his lower lip lightly as punishment. "Come on! Don't make it out to be a challenge." He had a hard enough time resisting the urge to constantly prove himself one way or another as it was. See what he could pull off. No, no, he really couldn't think about it like that. "I'll stay away from him. After this. I'm merely completing what I've started. Then he'll get his face fixed up enough that he won't die."

Surely he was allowed to make sure of that much without going too deep down the rabbit hole. "And I'll simply... Get over it. Nothing happened. I've barely touched him."

"We shall see. I don't know how easily you can move on from your fantasy. Besides, I'd like if you had him. Then I'd have easier access, I'd love to study him. Did you learn what happened to him? Abusive parents? Nah, can't be that simple. Statistically speaking, it has to be sexual abuse if it wasn't like... war trauma." And he didn't remember Gotham ever being a war zone in the traditional sense. Especially not when Harvey was a child, at least. Bombing was way more common now.

Jonathan did pull back and give Edward a slightly apologetic look. Slightly. He was trying. "I've never treated DID, forgive my curiosity. I've been texting with Harley and it's just a therapist temptation. We love the weird ones."

Edited 2021-01-30 23:47 (UTC)

"He's not a big believer in therapy and when I breached the topic of childhood trauma, he dismissed it. At any rate, you should keep your creepy fingers off him." Edward frowned, then amended that statement, reaching for one of Jonathan's hand and idly tracing his fingers. "Metaphorically speaking. Your actual fingers are slender and elegant."

He arched his eyebrows. Why not be a little lewd. "And ever so deft."

"I know, I remember how loud you moaned last time." Jonathan smirked and shook his head, flopping back against the arm chair but not making much distance between them. Out of every person alive - Edward was the one person he could stand this close all the damn time. He wasn't in love, he just had a clear preference on who he wanted in his life. "I'll try to keep my fingers to myself. As long as any man can in Gotham. You know us rogues, no one is off limits."

It was just the way of life here. Gesturing at Edward to come closer, he held his arms out, letting Edward know that if he wanted to come and sprawl all over him, that was all fine with him. "If Harvey is your jock and Two-Face is the bad boy, what exactly am I in this high school movie of yours?"

Edward smiled at the invitation and didn't hesitate, moving over and, yes, sprawling all over him. He was a touchy guy, always had been, and his desire for physical closeness was probably another reason why he craved socialising. Why he had two roommates that he paid. This was nice though, with that added bonus of knowing that Jonathan wouldn't extend this to just anyone. He liked feeling special, sue him.

"Hmm..." He had never thought about that before, but he was ready to humour the notion. "You'd be the loner kid. The weirdo. They all avoid you and you don't care about them anyway. Of course, they don't realise that you're a master of kinky fuckery with a giant cock. I'd know. I'd make sure to investigate."

"Investigating the loner's cock. Now there's a romance novel." Jonathan made sure his cigarette was put out before lazily wrapping one arm around Edward, pondering what sort of kid he was when he was at school - probably all of that minus the kinky stuff, he had a late awakening but when he awoke, it was hard to put those thoughts away.

"As long as there isn't a love rivalry plot with me and fucking Harvey Dent cause I'd be killed in like half a second. He's a big guy." He didn't like his odds and he didn't love Edward enough to do that. "I'm just your ... how do you say it all polite like? I guess there isn't a way. Fuck buddies it is."

"Hm. See, that's my safety net. I know you wouldn't ever feel that strongly. So..." No need to pull back. No need to be careful with his attachment. "Long and toxic." He smirked, not so incidentally shifting his hand to press down against Jonathan's crotch. Long and toxic indeed. "I mean, I'll admit, seeking out lovers that don't care much for me leads to a lot more lines between sex and hostage situation being crossed, but it's still safer for me."

A given value of safety, anyway. "Although, you? You totally adore me. You are my favourite. I'd not let my hypothetical jock boyfriend beat you up."

"You better not if you want investigate my cock. I got some high standards." With an amused smile, he pulled Edward in closer so he wasn't able to escape, leaning forward to whisper into his ear. "The line being blurred is your turn on, let's face it. If you weren't so kinky, it wouldn't happen. Or maybe it would. Who knows? Not like I'd give you a choice."

It was fun, a game to play with Edward, no strings attached, no needed endgame or result. Just fun. Just what they had. Long and toxic.

THE Doctor IS IN

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