Snuggles are for Losers

[lessdickmorejerk]

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[allthedick]

"He thinks that Two-Face is looking for revenge. He keeps hitting people linked to what happened and some old cases he never managed to get to court because of evidence." Mostly it was old school gangsters, which was why he was kind of curious. Was the meeting with Oswald in good faith or was it going to be an attempted hit.

"And, by the way, they do have like image consultants and people who do that sort of thing. I spoke to the Riddler about it once." Weird conversation but informative.

[lessdickmorejerk]

"Don't speak to a guy like the Riddler, Dick, come on. The last thing that guy needs is an audience. Just knock him out right away, save yourself the headache." Though... "He told you they had image consultants? For real?"

Jason pulled his hand back, finally, laughing as he shook his head. "That's insane. Man, maybe they can hook me up with some business cards."

Hey, heroes deserved nice things too. "You think Harvey's gonna go after the big fish?"

[allthedick]

"I was arresting him and waiting on the Bat. It was kind of boring. Besides, out of all the rogues, I think the Riddler is one I don't mind. I don't like him but... I like riddles." Okay, so, yeah - he was a giant nerds and riddles made him excited. He knew how lame that was but they were so fun. He spent a whole hour with the Riddler in chains, discussing riddles, making riddles and how he got his outfit.

It was interesting, no doubt about that. "He wouldn't give me names of consultants, by the way. Just gonna have to take up sewing."

With a smirk, Dick shrugged his shoulders and looked back at the door. "No idea."

[lessdickmorejerk]

"You are such a nerd." He was. "I mean, I'll say, some death trap knowledge did come in handy during pop quizzes at school, can't say that I ever picked up any useful knowledge from Scarecrow or Poison Ivy."

Although. "Not gonna pretend I learned nothing from her either. Crane was truly useless though."

If he had to rank rogues on that metric. "Tiny Tim probably loves the Riddler. Even nerdier than you."

[allthedick]

"Crane taught me that you should never trust someone just cause they sound charming. Not that I ever did but God, some people really did." Mostly, he had always known to run away from Jonathan Crane, Batman had trained him well. Nine times out of ten, the advise for Jon was 'run away and don't breath in'.

"Tim does, he likes riddles. I send him weekly brain teasers, keeps him busy and out of trouble." He always wanted to join them but he was still too green to do that.

"I tried to do the same with Damien and he blocked me."

[lessdickmorejerk]

Jason snorted, always ready to approve of anyone who gave Dick a hard time. "Yeah, give up on that one, mate. Way too cool for you."

He shifted from one leg to another, because his thighs were starting to cramp a little here. No one ever thought about these things when they started out in the vigilante game. A lot of it was just crouching on rooftops. "You are bang on with the accent though. Chicks dig it. I know the Riddler's chicks are into it, we discussed that once."

[allthedick]

"You talked to his hench girls? See, now you can't judge me! You talk to rogues too." Rolling his eyes, Dick dropped back onto his ass and sat down, looking at Jason and pulling a face. "My legs are tired, I've been here for over an hour. Lemme know if anything happens, I'll take five." He had been basically squatting low the whole time - not worth it. He was too tired.

Lying on his back, he looked up at the sky and pulled a face. "It's not raining too hard today. Just a drizzle." For Gotham, that was basically a nice day.

[lessdickmorejerk]

"All right, so. First of all, henchgirls aren't really rogues. They are henchgirls. That's a different category. Second of all, clearly other rules apply when the perp is really attractive. Duh." Jason rolled his eyes and kept looking ahead at the door they were watching, not commenting on Dick taking a break. He got it, this stuff was tiring.

"Weather's all right today." He held a hand out, to watch the rain fall down on it. "Why don't heroes have henchgirls?"

[allthedick]

"Cause we don't make a lot of money? Usually these guys, they do cause they're stealing. How the hell would we afford to pay for them, I am just scrapping by on rent these days." And no, he would not ask Bruce for help, he wanted to be able to support himself. "Bruce could. I guess Bruce does. Technically, we are his henchmen."

Frowning, Dick sat up and gave Jason a look. "Wait, should we be paid for this? Like dental and some hourly rates."

[lessdickmorejerk]

"...damn, you're right." Jason slapped his forehead, then nodded. "We are his henchgirls!" Wait. "Henchmen." Whatever, whatever. "Let's go ask the Riddler's girls how much they get, I feel we need at least double that."

Mostly he just figured they had to make a tidy sum to put up with their job, so it stood to reason. "Smartest thing you ever thought of, Dick."

[allthedick]

"I guess he does support us. If we asked more, he'd probably give us more. I don't think he's against it, we just never asked. I mean he offers to help me out sometimes but it feels weird." He shrugged and slowly, he pulled himself up and came back over, watching the door to see if there was any signs of life. "No one wants to live off their parents. Not that he's ... you know. But kinda, he is."

Bruce wasn't his dad but in some very real ways, he felt like it and he never knew how to feel. He just didn't want Bruce to be disappointed in him.

[lessdickmorejerk]

"Yeah, yeah, you are daddy's favourite. We get it, Dickie." Jason rolled his eyes, looking back at the door again. "Though, out of costume, hit up Penguin, I bet he'd be your daddy too."

Yeah, he had to bring that one up again. It was just too entertaining. "You look like at least two of his ex-twinks." He'd be sorry he knew that, but it was kind of part of the business.

[allthedick]

"I do not. Stop being gross. I would never even try and he'd never get close, I don't care if I'm his type or not." Dick sighed as he tried not to look at Jay - in fact, he turned his head to the side and looked at nothing so Jason didn't see him blush. It was just weird, he thought about it and now he was feeling all gross and it was all sexual and blah! Embarrassing.

"It's not like you're not his type either." He also liked strong boys so there was that. "He likes the James Gordon type most of all."

[lessdickmorejerk]

"Nah, he likes them clean-cut. I ain't that." Never tried to be either, but Jason was pretty sure he had a good idea of what Oswald was into. Well. Obviously, he diversified at times, but the ones that stuck around longer? He knew the type. "You are all pretty and smell good, so he'd love you."

When had he smelled Dick? Who knew.

[allthedick]

"You think I smell good? Aww, you're so sweet. Are you sure that you're not looking to have your way with me." Dick mocked as he gave Jason a playful smirk and winked at him, turning his head back to the club as the door opened and oh... damn it, he thought it was Harvey but it was just Victor Zsasz. Well, just. Not as simple as just, he was still a big player but not the guy he wanted.

"I see Zsasz. I guess Oswald wasn't comfortable being alone with Harvey yet, huh?"

[lessdickmorejerk]

Honestly, Jason was glad for the topic change, he hadn't intended to talk about how Dick smelled.

"Guess if you can have a loyal killer at your side, why wouldn't you?" Jason could see the advantages. He narrowed his eyes to make out what Victor Zsasz was doing. "Looks like he's on the phone. Could be business, could be private."

Huh. "Not sure I wanna know what his private life is."

[allthedick]

"I don't want to either. He's strange but then, most people on Oswald's side are just weird. Not like Joker weird but their own brand of offness. Like even that kid of his is weird." Martin was a strange boy, he'd met him a few times and while he was a very talented actor, there was something off with him that made him know never to underestimate or trust him. "I think Tim knows the younger ones better. I'm too old for that generation."

With their memes and toktiks and dabbing. He didn't get them. "I just know that anyone raised in Gotham is weird."

[lessdickmorejerk]

"True that." Jason tried to read Victor's lips, which he expected to be a futile exercise, mostly because the man didn't say that much to begin with. Still, passed the time. "That boy is weird as hell. I guess that's what happens when you're raised by Penguin. I'll leave that kid to Tim, I have enough freaks my size to deal with."

And bigger, like Harvey Dent. "If Zsasz stepped out and isn't calling backup, I'm guessing things went well for Dent."

[allthedick]

"He's probably celebrating with a drink. Oh great, I guess I have good news to deliver." Bruce would be thrilled, Harvey was making connections and friends all over the city. This was only going to get worse and worse. "What would you do? If that was your friend and they fell this hard? I don't know what I'd do. Force them to have surgery and attend therapy? Can you even force people to do that?"

He guessed not but he would have liked to. "I never did like to give up on people."

[lessdickmorejerk]

"Get them out of Gotham, probably. Maybe he'd have a shot in any other city. What are the odds of anyone getting better at Arkham?" Slim to none, Jason imagined. He shrugged his shoulders, not sure what to say. "The old man has to learn to give up on people. You do too. There's no hope for someone like that. Just full of anger, ain't gonna live much longer with his face like that."

[allthedick]

"I don't want to give up on anyone. I think people can be saved, even at their worst, you can save a sinner. You can't always redeem them but you can change them. People like Harvey Dent aren't bad, they're just sick." And he worried a lot for the empathy of the city that people moved on so quickly and happily denoted a man like Harvey as a villain and not a mentally ill and injured man who needed help.

Not that Arkham could give any. "I just wish there was more than Arkham."

[lessdickmorejerk]

"Y'know, there's plenty of crazy people that don't hurt a fly. Try siding more with the victims than you're sympathising with him." Jason felt Dick could use a pro-tip there. Not that he expected it to help. As lost a case as Bruce. Entirely too much empathy for crooks. "I see movement. You think that's Dent?"

[allthedick]

"I feel bad for all of them, victims and villains. I can't help it." He never could. Hell, he felt bad for Jason most of the time and he was such a dick, he killed people and picked fights, he had different morality and attitudes but he still loved him. Of course, Harvey was more extreme but he felt the gist was there. He cared too much.

He watched Harvey exit the club and then nodded to Jason, ducking down a little. "Let's see what direction he goes."

[lessdickmorejerk]

"Now that he's bff with Ozzy? Probably going to hit up the Joker, y'know, gotta make the right wrong friends." Jason had lowered his head as well, ready to see what would happen. Nothing exciting, he suspected, but who knew. Maybe there'd be some action before the night was over yet. "His face does look nasty. Like burned bacon that's somehow also raw."

[allthedick]

"Like that time Damien tried to cook for himself, yeah. I know what you mean." God, that had been horrifying. And, honestly, so was Harvey's face. As Harvey started to light up a cigarette, Dick started to move along the roof, curious what was going to happen. "If he gets in his car, it's already tagged so we can track it. Hopefully Tim will know his final location."

Then they could find him and stop him, prevent more damage in the process too. "Huh. It's weird when he smokes. The smoke comes out of his face... ew."